Happy Holly-days!

Two Announcements

2011-11-04T17:10:00.002-06:00

I have two things to say. One important, one not-so-important. (you choose which is which)

1. I understand there has been some confusion over the abrupt ending of my relationship with Tyler last December. Let me clarify for the record that I totally broke up with him, not vice versa.

2. I don't intend to update this blog anymore. You can read about my new adventures as an ecstatically happy married woman at www.harktheharkers.blogspot.com

The Love of My Life

2011-05-18T16:39:00.005-06:00

Yesterday afternoon it occurred to me what an unjust thing it is that I haven't posted about Matt yet. I mean, my other two boyfriends both got posts, but not this wonderful, life-changing man who has won my heart and changed my life. That just doesn't seem fair. I think a big part of it is that I just don't feel like I can do the whole thing justice via a blog. Also, normally I like to have a post pretty much outlined in my head before starting, but I haven't even had enough time to flip my daily calendar since April 12, so that hasn't happened either. But I have decided that even if it isn't elegant, I really need to sing his praises here on my blog.

My relationship with Matt has been such an incredible experience. He has just had this incredibly healing effect on my heart. And I don't mean healing from my heartbreaks of the past year, but healing for the bumps and bruises I carry from my childhood, and healing me of these false ideas I've had about love and marriage and relationships. It is just so wonderful. He just loves me like any girl would ever want or hope to be loved, and for this I can't help but adore him in return.

So, here's a little bit about Matt. I'm just free-style typing whatever I think about him, so I hope it goes well.

Matt is wonderful. He is a seeker of joy. He is the master of his fate and the captain of his soul. He looks for, recognizes, and follows God's plan for his life. He is a hard worker. He wants to be righteous. He is just so solid and steadfast. He loves dumb puns, just like I do. He is so tall and handsome (I always figured I'd marry a nerdy-looking guy, which I would be fine with, but it turns out "super handsome in a traditional sense" is super awesome). He is good at fixing things. He treats me like a princess. He honestly believes I am the most wonderful woman in the whole world. He loves his family. He wants to have a dozen children. His dream calling is in the Primary. He is always so willing to help me with anything that I need or want. He did such a good job of winning me over. He is a great dater and wooer of women (I guess I should say "woman" since I'm the only lady he's ever tried to woo, but was so so super good at it).

Mostly, I guess what needs to be said about Matt is that I just trust him absolutely and completely. Marriage really is a leap of faith, but I am just so confident in him. I've never just completely trusted in anyone before. It's a surprisingly nice feeling.

If I had been blogging during the last five months, here are some of the stories about him I would have shared:

* that he brought me flowers, chocolates, AND jewelry to work on Valentines Days, even though we weren't even exclusive yet and even though it was my first day at a new office. And later that evening he took me to the ballet.

*that he chartered a plane to propose to me

*that when the ladies at work see flowers at the office they just say, "Oh, more flowers for Holly"

*how wonderful it is that he is constantly working on my house and yard, so I don't have to worry about it

*it's really too bad that a permanent record of our dates wasn't recorded because he is super awesome at planning dates

*how he brings me a Roxburry Juice almost every time he comes over because he knows its my favorite and he likes spoiling me (he even does research on the flavor options ahead of time to make sure he chooses a good one) (PS for those of you living in Utah, seriously check out Roxberry Juice. they're like Jamba only about 10 times better.)

*how he is teaching me what a happy, healthy relationship is like, because it turns out I had NO idea before. His love for me is changing my heart and my life. I am just so thankful for him every minute of every day.

*how he would call and reserve me for a date 6 days in advance (for Valentine's Day he reserved me two weeks in advance)

*how he wants me to have anything I can think of wanting. How he remembers everything about me and uses it to my advantage. How he lights up when he sees me. How he has helped me see that love is so much deeper and wonderful-er and life-changing than I ever would have even imaged.

*that he wants to spend his life proving his love to me. And when I ask him if he's sure he'll still love me in five years he says beautiful things like, "Five years from now, I'll look back and realize that compared to how much I love you, I didn't even understand what love was when we got married."

Even this list embarrases me because it doesn't say or explain even the littlest part of how I feel and so it seems dumb and superficial. But I just want you, my faithful blog readers, to understand even a little bit of how great this man is and how wonderful our relationship is. It's just amazing.

I guess I could just say that we're so in love, it is ridiculous and I feel sorry for anyone who has to be around us and our crazy shmoopy-ness. I'm just so glad he happened to me. I'm so glad he fell in love with me and won me over despite my skeptism. I'm so glad that God saved him for me. I'm so glad that I have a love story that is even better than anything I imagined for myself. I'm so glad I followed God's plan for me and took the leap of faith to break up with those other men, even though I didn't want to at the time. I'm glad that over the years God has been preparing me and helping me change so that I could be in a mind-numbingly happy and healthy relationship because I realize that I could absolutely not have opened myself to this ten years ago, or even probably one year ago. "Glad" isn't a big enough word.

I mean, I've always considered myself a happy person, but I am just so so so happy now. I never knew love was so wonderful. Well, I guess I always thought love was wonderful, I guess I just didn't know what "wonderful" actually meant.

I feel very blessed to get to marry him in 38 days. Love is better than I ever imagined. It brings to mind how I felt when I first started to understand about Jesus and the atonement. I'd go to church and just look at everyone and wonder, "Do they GET this?!! Do they UNDERSTAND how wonderful this is?! I bet most people don't understand how really great this is." I feel the same way now with relationships. Did other couples experience something like this? Do they know what love is? Have they felt this way? I think the fact that I'm feeling it on this level is a really good sign. I am very very blessed. May everyone find the kind of love and happiness I have now.

The Short Story

2011-04-24T02:19:00.007-06:00

Well, there is so so so so so much to tell! But it is 2am and I am very tired and only minimally capable of being coherent, so I will tell the short story now and expand later.

Back in October, I went to a wedding and met a boy named Matt.

(us the night we met)

He fell in love with me on our first date and decided to marry me.

There were twists and turns and unexpected delays and some misadventures, but eventually I became his girlfriend. One day about a week into our relationship, we had this conversation

Me: How would you feel if eventually you wore me down and I decided to marry you?
Matt: I would feel great!!! How would you feel?
Me: Well, if I had decided to marry you, obviously I would be pretty happy about it.

More or less, that's what happened.

And I am so so so so glad because it turns out that Matt is the most wonderful, caring, loving, thoughtful man in the history of the universe. I never knew that love could be this wonderful. His love for me has already changed my life, and I can't help but love him in return. He makes me so happy.

Tonight he popped the question and I said yes. More details later.

(us the night we got engaged)

He gave me a ring that belonged to his grandmother, which I love love love
AND (since this is just the kind of guy he is) he gave me a GORGEOUS ruby ring because he knew I'd always wanted one for an engagement (due to my deep and abiding love of the 31st Psalm). And having been involved in a very superficial way in the search for the ruby, that psalm means even more to me because they are seriously hard to find (he had to order this one from Florida)!
The ruby ring is unbelievably beautiful! The band has twelve sparkly diamonds embedded it in, which I just decided ten minutes ago represent the twelve years of my life that I have been eligible to be married, but have been waiting for Matt to find me. TOTALLY WORTH IT!!! He is the best thing that ever happened to me and we are so so happy. (and we're both pretty determined to just become happier and happier still, which is one of the many things I love about him.)

Happy New Year!

2011-01-04T10:20:00.008-07:00

I had been planning to do a year-end review, but it occurred to me that I already did one in September when I celebrated my one year anniversary in Utah, and really not much has happened since then. Well, there was the noteworthy event of falling in love and almost getting engaged again. So let's bulletin point 2010, shall we?

* 2010 represents the first time in my entire life that I have worked at one job for an entire calendar year. This is not entirely true, since I did get that promotion and completely changed my responsibilities and location of work back in April, but I'll only have one W2 and that will be for 12 full months. So, that is an exciting event.

* I fell in love and broke my heart twice this year. Two different men wanted to marry me. That's kind of crazy.

*(this is probably related to the above point) I've probably cried more this year than the rest of my life combined (minus babyhood. maybe.). I've also had some of my greatest moments of bliss. No wonder so many people write songs and poems about love-- it is an extraordinarily complicated, messy, wonderful thing.

* I bought a house. Weird! I never thought I'd do that!

*I spent as much time at Home Depot as I do at the temple. Again, weird.

*Although I missed my goal of going on one international trip every year, I did get to travel in the country a bit: I got to visit Seattle, St. Louis, Boise, and two trips to DC.

Well, that seems a bit boring, but that's the bulk of my year I suppose.

Now, please consider taking a few minutes to read Dave Barry's review of 2010. You know how much I love him and this piece is particularly funny.

Also, I did manage to finish my pantry!! Hallelujah, hallelujah! Well, it still needs a few little touches (hang some decoration, change light fixture), but the paining is done and my food storage is out of my kitchen! And I finished one entire room!!

These are the plates I'm thinking of hanging on the wall next to the mirror. Thoughts?

Break Room Cleaning

2010-12-30T16:08:00.004-07:00

Maybe I'm the only one who will think this is funny, but I get such a kick out of the emails my co-workers send on Fridays to announce that they're about the clean the break room, that I just had to share them. (keep reading, the last one is the best)

From the office fashionista:
Subject: Final Sale!! Everything must go!!
In approximately 30 minutes, Randy and I will be conducting a FINAL CLEARANCE on our Break Room! Get your goods, or they’ll be GONE!
Happy (Clean) New Year!

From the Finance Department:
Once again, the finance department will be conducting an audit of the Break Room at precisely 4:30 pm MST. Any items not properly labeled and dated will be disposed of or re-gifted to annoying neighbors.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.

From a politically like-minded individual:
We made a start on cleaning the house and senate. Now it’s time to move the Tea Party into the break room.
At 4 p.m., anything in the fridge that smells corrupt, or that lacks a valid conservative endorsement, will be retired to the scrapheap of history.

And this one is my favorite (hope you can speak conversational computer programming). From the IT Department:

FOREACH item IN refrigerator
IF ( item.label == false ) OR ( item.color == unsual ) OR ( item.odor < item =" garbage">

This must be in my mind today because I barely made it upstairs to save my oatmeal. When I add fruit jam to it, the results are very yummy, but I think we can all agree that to the unknowing eye, it definitely looks like something that should be thrown out. (mostly I just added this because I know posts with photos are more popular)

Happy Birthday to Me!

2010-12-28T10:10:00.017-07:00

Last week, I turned 31. It wasn't entirely unexpected. Something like this usually happens to me around December 18th.

I'll start this story the day before my birthday which was Friday. I woke up with a strangely terrifying thought in my head: "What if someone at work tries to do something for my birthday?!!" I then wondered if I'd always been so stupidly and unrealistically concerned about people going out of their way for me, or if it was a new thing. I have decided yet, but since I recognized that it was stupid, I went on with my life.

I was pleased with the receptionist (AKA Amy-who-knows-all-my-business) brought me some potted herbs. It was super sweet that she remembered my life dream to have an indoor herb garden AND she almost froze to death hand-painting the pots for me.
Oh wait, the first thing that happened for my birthday was that my sister Heather and her husband came down on Monday night to help me install my dream closet. I rented a drill that went through cement like a hot knife through butter. It was pretty awesome. I don't mind telling you that I feel like Barbie when I look at my closet. Plus it was nice to see a married couple working together on a project like a well-oiled and perfectly synchronized machine.
On my actual birthday morning I woke up at 4:30 to take my roommate to the airport. I figured it was good karma, plus the airport is half way to Tooele which is where I was spending the day anyway. I safely navigated a snow storm and arrived at Tooele at 6 o'clock. I stopped by my favorite donut store (they hand-fill the donuts after you order them and have a dozen fillings to chose from yum!!) and made it to my sisters house and went back to sleep in their newly finished luxury guest accommodations. I was awakened about two hours later by a niece who wanted to play with my iPhone. It was a good way to start the day.

I played Mr. Potato Head. You would not believe the stuff those potato head people are coming up with these days. This one was my favorite. (please notice the peg leg, parrot on shoulder and hook hand).

Even with all the hullabaloo, I managed to get a nap before 1. I was awaken from this nap by a very excited four-year old, very anxious for me to put on my party hat. As you are probably aware, preschoolers get VERY excited when party hats are produced.

Then Heather and family arrived and the real celebrating began. Heather brought a chocolate Costco cake because, as she said, "to know Holly is to know her love of Costco cake." She also brought approximately 20 pounds of baked good left over from the Christmas cookie plates she made for the neighbors. There was no shortage of edible goods.

Ellie somehow got the idea that I needed to break through a ribbon (similar to the end of a race) for me to arrive at the party. The nieces put one up and guarded the dining room vigilantly so that I didn't run through the ceremonial ribbon early. The adults decided breaking through the ribbon was symbolic of me breaking through my year of various heartaches and entering into my best year yet. In this picture, you can also see my favorite new sweater that I bought at Target for $4.

After the eating and singing, the sisters and I decided to celebrate by going out on the town. We went and partook of everything Tooele has to offer-- Walmart, DI, and even the Dollar Tree. Although the idea of being out of the house sans 3 or 4-year olds was not as novel for me as for my sisters, it was still nice to be out with them. And at the Dollar Tree, following the age-old tradition of the Bluemlein family, they bought me gifts! A spray bottle (for removing wallpaper) and index cards (to use as recipe cards). Just what I wanted!

Upon returning home, I engaged in some tickle wrestling with two of the nieces.The third niece was on to me (and apparently doesn't enjoy tickling as much as the others), so she wouldn't come downstairs. But she did saddle up and come as the cavalry in an attempt to rescue the other two. The evening was spent mining for diamonds. Ann and Josh had bought a bag of dirt from a famous diamond mine when they were in Arkansas a few years ago and had been waiting for the right occasion to bring it out. We figured no time like a single lady's 31st birthday to hunt for diamonds.
That night I went to sleep and had a dream that Mel Gibson was madly in love with me and determined to marry me. Very interesting on many levels for a amateur Freudian analysts such as myself.

I arrived home and found my annual package from my friend Jamie (goodness, I haven't reported on her big fat Greek wedding yet. I need to do that.....) which included a brand new Ronald Reagan mug! So now I have a matching set, which is good because there have been arguments in the past over who gets the Ronald Reagan mug. It is much better to have two of such things.

My mom sent me money to put towards my dream closet (see above) or to spend on a CD player. Decisions decisions!

I got sick two days after my birthday, which is totally weird for me because I NEVER get sick. My sister Heather pointed out that it could be because I haven't been my usual self lately. And that could certainly be-- I am probably not being protected from illness by my usual cloud of joy, cheer, and endless optimism. My mom said it makes sense that I would get sick since I've such an emotional rollercoaster of a year, but that once I was feeling better I would probably be healed not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually as well. Now that I'm on the other side of it, I believe she was absolutely right. The last few days, I have been feeling a profound and inexplicable sense of joy and calm. I've also been feeling very close to the Savior, which is wonderful. I know for sure that wonderful things are coming to me. This year and for the rest of my life. I know God will help me stay the course so that with His help, I can welcome every good thing into my life. I am excited to be alive and a disciple of Jesus Christ.

NOT overly personal

2010-12-17T10:36:00.007-07:00

Well, since the break-up, a general sense of malaise has settled over my life. I know it's for the best and I'm confident (most of the time) that I made the right decision, but I'm just sad. It's probably especially potent because of the switch from floating on a happy cloud of love, straight to sad.

Anyways, I have been learning a lot and I think I've figured some good stuff out. I realize I'd subconsciously made the decision not to process any of my thoughts on my blog out of respect for Tyler. (I realize now that I was able to vent and process on my blog after Michael because by the time it was over I didn't have much respect for him anymore. Also because I knew he wasn't emotionally invested enough to care. The fink.)

So I'm trying to work on my house, but am having a hard time with it due to all the other demands on my time. I will tell you the updates on each room as I finish it. The bedroom is coming close! We've (meaning I've) run into a bit of a problem with the living room-- I've decided it needs to be refinished ("finished" would probably be a better word since there is currently no finishing on it as far as I can tell). So everything else has been postponed until that gets done. Well, not everything, but the living room for sure. And I've decided to give up on the kitchen until everythign else is done. However, I am doing the pantry-- wall at least the walls, but not the floor (even though they desperately need some attention).

So that's my life right now. Rather unexciting, mostly because I'm still in mourning and thus not creating much excitement for myself. But, I'm planning for future fun adventures and excitement to do once I'm feeling more like myself.

Oh wait! I have been having adventures: for example, I went to the Swedish Christmas Smorgasborg at Ikea. As I told a co-worker, "This is the thing I'm most excited about for this month. Christmas is this month-- I don't care. My birthday is this month-- I don't care. I am most excited about the Swedish Smorgasborg at Ikea." And it did not disappoint! Here's a pictures of little children on parade in their traditionally Swedish garb. St. Lucia even made an appearance and sang. Also, the food was really fun and extraordinarily plentiful. I totally felt Swedish.
Also, here's a picture of the sorting of my food storage going on as prep for the pantry re-model

And a pic of the beginning of the painting of my bedroom. (Why doesn't my new carpet have any protection on it?!!!). You can't tell from this picture, but I'm actually painting over some other blue paint that I didn't like.
So, as you can see, my house, like my life, is a work in process. And I'm beginning to think that my house, like my life, might not be finished until I'm dead =)

No Use Avoiding This Any Longer

2010-12-08T12:24:00.007-07:00

Well, I might as well just say it: Tyler and I broke up.

It's quite tragic really. A lot of people have expressed surprise because just a week ago right here on my very own blog, I was going on and on about how wonderful he is. Well, all of the stuff I said about him is still true, so you can imagine how sad the break-up is. But we were just too different. We didn't have much in common, including whether or not it mattered that we don't have anything in common. Even more than that, I think we were just on different wave lengths. He is a phenomenol man, but (much to my chagrin) it just was not a good fit. I wanted it to be a good fit, and we could have made it work, but I think marriage is hard enough without starting it with such very different people (even if they love and respect each other very much). I like to sum it up with the classic phrase "You can't fit a round peg in a square hole." (someone told me that sounds dirty, but there's just no other platitude that says that it so succinctly.)

So I'm just trying to carry on with my life. I'm allowing myself some time to be sad about it. I mean, it is kind of crazy-- a month ago I really honestly truly and sincerely thought I would end up marrying him and moving to DC. So this is a very different place to be in mentally and emotionally.

I decided to throw myself into getting my house decorated. I've been in re-painting chaos for about a month and of course that throws off a person's groove. I've set the very lofty goal of having my bedroom, living room, kitchen, and pantry painted and organized before my birthday. That will keep me busy and give me something to think about. Hopefully I'll even be posting updates on the blog.

So, that is what has been taking up most of my emotional energy for the week. It has also sent me on philosophical quests, such as the one I posted here yesterday. I have been learning and experiencing a lot lately, so that is good. I think by next year, I probably will have figured out everything about life =)

You Gotta Want It

2010-12-07T09:45:00.002-07:00

I have other more important, life-information posts that I need to write, but this is on my mind very strongly today, so I want to share these thoughts now.

This morning (not that I was surfing the internet at work), I came across a series entitled "Best Holiday Gift Freak Outs." I'd recommend it to anyone. This was my favorite (WARNING: there is swearing involved)

While I consider myself a more than unusually happy, joyful and enthusiastic person, the level of excitement shown in these video clips surpassed anything I can remember experiencing. But I think I would like it! Thinking about it made me realize: perhaps there is joy in really wanting something. Is there anything I want this much? What on earth could make me this excited? I mean, I'm not sure I'd have that sort of reaction when/if St. Peter lets me in the pearly gates.

I wonder if part of being this excited is getting something with no strings attached. For example, I'm sure that I will be super duper uber excited when I get married, but there's some nervousness involved too because marriage (as wonderful as it is) is scary and a big risk too. Would that stop me from being this excited?

I also think of the line from "Pride and Prejudice" where the sister says she wishes there were another such man so her sister could be as happy as she is. And Elizabeth replies that even if there were a hundred such men, she couldn't be as happy because "until I have your goodness, I can never have your happiness." It seems like the most of the really joyful things in life are spiritual in nature and it takes a good amount of spirituality to appreciate them. I know for sure that the Spirit does intensify feelings of joy, excitement, and gratitutude. (Not that this applies to the Play Station example above, but it's still an interesting thought.)

I also wonder-- is part of the joy and excitement of getting something you want the fact that it's unexpected? Maybe I don't get so excited about things because I usually just expect that things will work out for me so I'm not surprised when they do. But I like to think that I don't take things for granted when they do work out. And I think I'm still grateful and happy when they do.

Also, I think there's not really a lot of things that I want. I don't have anything on my birthday or Christmas list. After some pressure from my mom on this point, it did occur to me that I'd like a CD player. (That's right I do not own a CD player, or even a computer. I'm sort of backwards that way.)

But maybe I should say there aren't a lot of material things that I want because there are lots of other things I do want. I want to get my house looking all cute and organized. I want to go jogging before work every day. I want to put in the time, effort, and energy to look cute every day. I want the people around me to feel loved and valued. I want God's light to shine through me. I want to be a source for good in the world. I want to have adventures and experience new things. I want to be surrounded by things that are beautiful.

The interesting thing about all of the above is the only thing stopping me from having each of them is myself. It's my own laziness that prevents me from doing and having anything I want. So I think I want these things, but so often I short-sightedly think I want to sit in bed and do nothing more. I am the only thing preventing me from having them.

I wonder, is there something (material or not) that I want as much as that man wanted his Play Station? I hope so! I hope I want eternal life that much. I hope I want to build the Kingdom that much. I hope I want to have joy in my life that much. And if I want them that much, what is keeping me from them? I heard a speaker at church recently who said the only currency we have with God is our desires-- if we desire righteousness, if we desire to serve him, etc. There is nothing else we can really give him. And if our desires are strong enough we will act in such a way to get the things we desire. Are my desires strong enough to motivate me to go and get the things I want? Is that keeping me from having all the joy I could?

I wonder also, how much that man would have gone through to get himself a Play Station. Surely he could have gotten an extra job or budgeted his money in such a way that he could have gotten one for himself. Was he so excited because someone loved him enough to get it for him? Would it have meant more or less to him if he had worked for it and gotten it for himself? I have a hard time accepting things from other people-- maybe I am depriving myself of joy in that way?

Whatever the reason, I want to have more full-hearted excitement and gratitude like this man did. I will put myself on a personal quest to find my own personal play station 3 and to have that level of joy in my life.

It does occur to me thought, if I lost my iPhone and was without it for a few days, I would probably be this happy when I get it back. So there is hope that this sort of emotion could be elicted in me. =)

Why God Is My Favorite Person

2010-12-01T17:02:00.002-07:00

Last night after work I spent (by actual count) five hours on the phone with four different people resolving issues with everything from selling used food to analyzing the new (completely horrible) FDA legislation that was just passed. While talking on the phone, I was also making two loaves of homemade wheat bread (to mail to my sweetie) and three dozen chocolate chocolate chip cookies for a co-worker's birthday.

My night of tele-a-thon telephoning ended around 11pm when I finished a call with friend who needed advice and support about not being able to pay her rent. I was pretty tired, practically comatose in bed wanting to just fall to sleep.

BUT! I have just recently resolved to be more diligent in my daily scripture study and, alas, I hadn't done my 30 minutes yet. I was thinking it over in my mind-- while I really wanted to take the time to have some formal sit-down time with God, I was really super duper tired and I was justifying not getting up because I was still feeling warm fuzzies from helping people via phone and thought that might be enough for the day (excuses, excuses). I was toying with the idea of praying for strength to do the right thing, but, you know, once you ask for help, you have to be willing to do something about it (ie, get up), so I was avoiding the idea.

Then I remembered that my freshly baked cookies were still sitting out. I knew that if I left them out all night, they would not be quite so yummy in the morning. I really wanted to have something nice to give my wonderful co-worker, so I decided to muster my strength and get out of bed. The irony of being more dedicated to pleasing my co-worker than pleasing God was not lost on me.

I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Then, I remembered that I had already put the cookies away. As soon as I realized it, I received this prompting from God: "Gotcha!"

I laughed and laughed and then went to my desk and read scripture for 30 minutes.

I just love how God is willing to work with us and help us for our good, even using non-traditional methods. When we are striving to be closer to Him, He will help us in any way we are willing to receive. And I'm thankful for that.

I've been keeping things from you. Big things.

2010-11-16T10:23:00.008-07:00

But not on purpose. I hadn't intended on keeping any important life information from you, my faithful blog readers. It's just that I put it on facebook and thought it was pretty much a done deal. Plus, I don't need to tell you how horribly I've been neglecting my blog lately.

Let me start at the beginning, about a month ago. I was in a man tsunami. Men who wanted to date me were literally falling out of the woodwork. I couldn't figure out where they were all coming from, but they were around in abundance. It turns out being a dater is a lot of hard work! But, I was enjoying myself and it is always great to see how many great men there are out there.

One day I went to friend's wedding (met a nice boy there, we went out) and afterwards I got a text from a neat guy I'd been out with a few times telling me that since my other plans had finished I should come join him and his friends at his house. Since this guy was moving across the country the next day and it was my last chance to see him, I decided to go.

After watching a video, all of his friends left but I stuck around to chat for a while. Unexpectedly, he told me that although he was leaving for a new job on the other side of the continent in 14 hours, he was planning to win me over from Washington DC. Well, I was pretty shocked by that. In hindsight, I shouldn't have been, since he had taken me out four times that week-- he was obviously in it to win it. So, even though I wasn't sure how I felt about the idea of being swept off my feet from 2000 miles away, we stayed up late into the night talking and kissing.

He left the next day for his three day cross-country drive. He called me all along the way and I was smitten by the time he arrived at his destination. He is pretty much the best man ever. So passionate, thoughtful, giving, caring, loving. He's also smart, interesting, driven, and a very good kisser. He plans awesome dates. He is dedicated to making me happy. He even buys me things! When problems come up, we talk through them-- he loves communicating. If we argue, he calls afterwards to make sure I'm okay. He loves his neices and nephew. He loves his job and is planning big things for his life. He loves the gospel and wants the Spirit in his life. Five minutes into our first conversation, he had hatched a plan to make me his. He thinks I'm unbelievably beautiful. He knows (and pays attention to) my voice tones and can tell how I feel based on them. For obvious reasons, I decided to snatch him up and agreed to became exclusive 8 days after he left. That was about a month ago.

Last weekend, he bought me a plane ticket to go visit him in his exciting new northern Virginia life.

We sat around looking all starry-eyed at each other, went out to eat, watched football, went to a movie (and got popcorn-- I'd never had popcorn at a movie in my entire life until I started dating Tyler [oh yeah, his name is Tyler] and it turns out having popcorn at a movie is TOTALLY AWESOME), and of course we went and saw the sights Our trip to the Lincoln Memorial elicited a rather vigorous debate on Lincoln's presidency, states' rights and the causes of the Civil War. These debates are not at all unusual in our relationship. (Don't even get us started on TSA screenings or children in BYU apparel.) But, these things keep our relationship interesting.

More info on Tyler: he just finished his coursework for a PhD in Communications and is working on his dissertation. He's 2.5 years older than me. He served his mission in Italy and consequently thinks he's Italian. He cooks yummy Italian food and is very picky with his cheese. He sounds sexy when he speaks Italian. He attended the University of Oklahoma and lived in Oklahoma City for four years-- three of my siblings also live in OKC, but they didn't know each other. Although, I think it's cool that he taught at the college my brother attends. He got his bachelor's degree on a debate scholarship and later coached a debate team that placed 2nd at Nationals. Oh yeah, we met at a ward date night. He wasn't in the ward, but was a fill-in to improve the ratios. He drove down from visiting his brother in Logan to attend the ward date night as a favor for a friend-- see how it pays to do nice things for people? Also, he makes me want to be a better person. AND he sends extraordinarily beautiful flowers "just because."

He is what I like to call "a keeper."

Did I ever tell you about the time I was mistaken as a prostitute?

2010-10-29T09:26:00.007-06:00

Subtitle: Happy Halloween!

I got to wear my Halloween costume to work today, which I have never done before and it is fun. This is the third Halloween in a row I've dressed as a Catholic school girl. Why? Because it's the third Halloween in a row that I've lived in a new city, so I don't have to bother coming up with a new idea. Plus, I already have all of the stuff.

My first year in this costume was my last Halloween in Manhattan.

Whenever I put on my costume I remember this story and it makes me smile.

I was walking down Broadway on my way home from a Halloween party when a passing car honked and waved at me. Figuring it must be a friend who had also just left the party (it was late enough that there weren't many cars on the street), I waved back. The car pulled over, so I went to see who it was. He unrolled the passenger window (just like on the movies) and I went to talk to him but quickly discovered it was not someone I knew. His English wasn't very good, so I couldn't exactly tell what he was getting at, but it was obvious he wanted me to get in his car. That wasn't going to happen, so I just walked off. The next day I realized what had happened. I was walking down the street in a school girl outfit the day after Halloween and he thought I was turning tricks. I want to clarify that I was dressed 100% totally modestly. The whole thing is very amusing to me, and I don't mind telling you I count being mistaken as a sex worker among my life achievements.

Now, here's a picture of some of my totally awesome co-workers.

This Post Brought to You By the Home Depot

2010-10-14T08:43:00.007-06:00

You've probably been wondering what it will take to get me out of my blogging funk. Honestly, I've been wondering too. And quite frankly, a lot of totally great, exciting, blog-worthy things have been happening the last 6 weeks. So what has touched my heart and mind enough to inspire me to actually put pen to paper, as it were? This is what I will say: In my life, I have stood atop some of the tallest structures built by man. I have toured the underbelly of Hoover Dam. I have seen the mechanical workings of a giant green lazer that shoots into all levels of the atmosphere. But never in my life have I been so overcome by the genius of man's mechanical workings as I was last night when using, and consequently studying, a relatively common household item. I am referring, of course, to the wall anchor: What could I say about this amazing device that has not already been said by men and women far more eloquent than I? To think that millenia of scientific advancement has led humanity to this simple, yet profound invention that just......works. Truly, we stand on the shoulders of giants. I am speechless.

I remember my first ever exposure to wall anchors. The year was 2007. The city was New York, where so many paradigm-shaking discoveries like this are made. Although, like most things, I didn't actually appreciate the wonder of the wall anchor until I used it for myself the first time. Wall anchors were first explained to me by Luke Stay (who, PS, is smart at everything). He used them to attach a mirror to a cinderblock wall in my bedroom. Once I realized the project was a bigger ordeal than I expected I told him to forget it and I'd find a different wall for the mirror, but it was too late-- he was trying to impress a girl (my roommate) so he was determined to successfully complete what he had started. In addition to using the wall anchors, he also explained the concept to me. I'll admit that while I understood the mechanics, I didn't fully comprehend the reasons it was needed.

Now, as a homeowner, I am starting to get it. See the lovely closet I installed all by myself several weeks ago, even using a drill for the first time ever:

Well, I knew I should have used anchors, but I didn't have any, so I didn't. I knew it wouldn't stay on for five years, but I thought it would stay on for a while. But, nope, not so much. It fell off once ten things were put on it.

So, back to the drawing board, by which I mean Home Depot. Having never purchased anchors before, I was surprised by the vast quanitity of options available. But, in my experience, a busty blonde girl normally doesn't want for help at the Home Depot so I figured I would find some nice young man to assist me with my selection. But, such was not the case yesterday, so I used my other assets (by which I mean my wits) to solve the problem. I chose my anchors (the red, plastic kind-- I hope that was right!) and headed back to work.

My hammer was missing, but I managed to get the job done with the drill and a can of tomato sauce. For some inexplicable reason, the top left anchor didn't take, so I had to pull the bottom anchor out (no easy feat!), move the holes over three inches and start again. (Luckily, the design of the closet allowed for wiggle room on the location of the poles) My intense admiration of the wall anchor began when I had to try to remove the anchor from the screw in the bottom hole. It. Was. A-MAZing. The way the plastic and steel just sort of merged towards the bottom of the screw. The way the plastic expanded, fanning out to secure a stable base. The impossibility of getting it out once it had been set. I mean, a razor blade and some elbow grease finally got the job done, but it was no easy task.

Yes, my mind has been blown. Enough so to inspire me to blog again. And now that the floodgates have been opened, hopefully I'll have some more to share with you before too long.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings. I'm just really impressed by the wall anchor.

The Year in Review

2010-09-01T09:11:00.003-06:00

Happy September 1st! Exactly one year ago today, I ended my multi-week cross-country roadtrip extravaganza and moved into my place in Sugarhouse to officially began my new life in Utah.

When I first realized I was coming up on a year I was disappointed, thinking that I hadn't done much or had many adventures, but as I thought it over some more, it turns out I've actually been pretty busy. Here's some of what I'm been up to (not in chronological order):

Went to Las Vegas twice.

Drove to Michigan and back twice (not counting the drive out).

Drove to Seattle and had a lovely vacation there, seeing six old friends in three different states.

Vacationed in DC and escorted a friend/protegee for her first visit to the temple.

Vacationed in Rexburg, Idaho four times.

Cried once because I didn't get to go to Rexburg.

Got a job.

Got a promotion.

Fell in love.

Got a broken heart.

Got over it.

Understand everything about life better now.

Was asked on three dates by three different guys in just one week.

Attended my first political rally.

Paid a utility bill for the first time in my life.

Moved THREE times:
once into a shared house in Salt Lake
once into a darling little cottage in Draper
once (just yesterday) into a charming huge, old farmhouse in Draper which I own.

That's right. I bought a house. It's a long story that I will tell you later.

All in all, I'd say it's been a pretty awesome year.

Jonah-- the misunderstood prophet

2010-08-30T10:44:00.008-06:00

Poor Jonah. No one ever looks at his story in historical context, especially taking into account chapter 4. I was lucky enough to be in a class where we did both and it made me totally understand the poor guy better. I was very excited to share my insight with my Sunday School class yesteday when we were studying his story, but they just didn't get it. Blank stares. Continued blame for being faithless. I was sad. I decided to plead Jonah's case to you, my blogging audience. Thank you for listening.

First, let's point out that Ninevah was in Assyria. We Bible-studiers are familiar with Assyria-- in addition to being total bad a's (that anyone would be afraid to go preach repentance to), they were also enemies and continual threat to the Israelites.

Sec0nd, let's point out the geographic situation:

As you can see from this map that I just found on the internet, Assyria is not at all far from Israel. Yep, it pretty much right up there by the northern 10 tribes.

Third, let's point out that Jonah must have been a pretty awesome, with-it, righteous, inspired man. A) he was a prophet after all, B) the people on the ship recognized him as a man of God, C) once he decided to do what God wanted, he did manage to convert an entire city of unbelievably wicked people. These things are not accomplished by faint-hearted, faith-lacking, pansy, lily-livered girly-men like we normally paint him to be.

Fourth, let's examine chapter four. This is after everyone in Ninevah repents. Jonah's mission has been totally successful-- not only had he not gotten killed, he managed to save all these souls. But he goes up on a mountain looking over the city and talks to God. He says that before he even left home he knew that the people would repent, which was exactly why he tried to run away. Then, he says that he wishes he were dead and asks the Lord to kill him.

What? With the way this has been taught to us since Primary, chapter four just makes no sense.

Now, consider this: Jonah understood the idea that the Lord blesses the righteous. Repentance shifts the balance of power. If one nation is more righteous than another, God favors that nation more. He understood that a big part of the reason Assyrian had not yet conquered Israel is because Israel was more righteous. So, if he knew before he even left that the people of Ninevah would repent and become more righteous than the Israelites, and thereby gain God's favor and upset the balance of power, enabling them to defeat Israel in war. In other words, his mission would bring about the downfall of his own nation. That is WAY scarier than the idea of being killed for Christ's sake. And that is something that even a strong, faithful man like Jonah might try to avoid.

And that is exactly how it turned out-- Jonah's mission to Ninevah was sometimes between 793 and 753 BC and the Assyrians conquered the 10 Tribes in 722 BC.

In sharing this information, I'm not trying to say that Jonah was a perfect person or that it was right for him to run away from what God wanted him to do. Of course, Jonah needed to do what he was called to do, even if it was hard and would cause the eventual downfall of his own people. I just think we need to give him credit for the fact that what he was asked to do was way harder than just risking his life to preach the gospel.

To summarize: of course Jonah should have done what God wanted and not try to run away. But, let's give him credit for the fact that he wasn't just afraid of being killed, he didn't want the destruction of his entire country on his head. Which seems reasonable. Not a good excuse for disobeying God, but you can kind of see where he's coming from.

Spending Fast (the noun, not the adverb)

2010-08-26T13:39:00.004-06:00

About six weeks ago, I decided to go on a spending fast. The rules are simple: spend NO money, except for gas for the car, which should be used only for driving to work and church. Rent, utility bills, and tithing are also okay. Well, the limitations on driving didn't last, but other than that, it's been going well.

I feel like a pioneer woman! Living off the land, as it were. Picking cucumbers out of my garden for my daily vegetable. Giving creative homemade gifts. Finding clever ways to avoid the social situation of going out to eat. Abstaining from an occasional Red Box movie rental or dollar burger.

Of course, as soon as I made this goal, things started going wrong. My blow dryer broke. I ran out of apricot scrub for my face. I ran out of shampoo. My muffler started making funny noises (okay, I had been ignoring that for a while). My online dating account expired (which reduced my frequency of eating at restaurants for free). My sunglasses broke (and my eyes really don not like being exposed to the sun).

It has been fun to find solutions to problems! I realized I don't really need to blow dry my hair and that saves me like 10 minutes every morning. I started washing my hair with body wash and it looked okay (I just used extra conditioner-- I still have plenty of that). I didn't want to eat cold cereal after I ran out of milk, so I started eating cracked wheat for breakfast every morning and it turns out I really like it! Also, it's very filling and I found I ate less all day. I also liked having to be accountable for really planning my meals (especially a lunch for work) because just going and buying something cheap (what I normally do) was not an option. I will admit that after a month, I decided that I really needed my apricot scrub, so I decided to spend the $3 and buy some-- but I used some cash that I just had laying around, so I like to think it didn't count. Also, after one week I had to buy some milk but that was the best way I could think of avoiding going out to eat with a friend (it's a long story).

And people have been so supportive of me. I have been very conscious of not wanting to accept charity because a) I'm not actually destitute-- I still have plenty of money (it would be different if I actually needed help) b) I don't want anyone else to be inconvenienced by a decision that I made (as opposed to if life circumstances forced me to not spend money). But I have been very happy to accept things people don't need. My jogging companion gave me an old pair of sunglasses she had in storage in the garage and I was very grateful for that. A lady at work, upon hearing of my goal, started bring me fresh goat's milk because her goat produces more than her familly can drink. It is so so so so so yummy and I feel very blessed. My sister Heather (after several weeks of her insisting) gave me some very nice shampoo (this was a charity case, but I realized it was important to her, so I gave in).

One thing that has been surprising to me is how I have pretty much continued to eat normally. I have been able to pretty much cook whatever I want. So I've been pretty proud of my food storage. And I still have plenty left. I'm sort of interested to see how long I can keep this up, but I don't want to totally deplete my food storage, so I'll probably only keep going a few more weeks.

All in all, this has been a very fun adventure. I might make a habit of doing it periodically throughout my life.

The Power of Intentions

2010-08-18T08:29:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I got to spend the evening with an old friend. On the way home I stopped to get gas. While I was cleaning my windshield I heard a whistle. Not that unusual. So I looked up and saw a young man smiling at me. I smiled back.

"What a beautiful lady!"

I smiled at him again.

"Are you wearing a wedding ring?"

He looked like an okay sort of of guy.

"Nope."

"Do you date 25 year-olds in the church?"

He was walking towards me now so I could see that he had cute blonde curly hair, kind eyes, and had obviously just come from some sort of manly project building something.

"Both of those categories are acceptable to me."

"Maybe we could go out sometime?"

"Well, you could call me sometime."

"Great! Can I give you my number?"

"No. But I'll give you mine-- if you promise not to stalk me if I don't like you."

"No way. I'm a gentleman."

At this point, I would like to clarify that he wasn't buying gas or anything. He saw me as he drove by and specifically stopped and got out of his car with the hope that I would talk to him. We chatted for several minutes and then I left.

He texted me before I even got home.

That in and of itself is not necessarily important enough to warrant a blog post, but this is what makes it cool: I had spent the evening discussing with my friend various things including 1. why it's better to date 25 year-olds 2. why I want to be dating a contractor/construction worker of some sort (which he is) 3. how I am totally in my groove and since the break-up men have been coming out of the woodwork and that I was confident they would continue to do so. Just another example of how there is power in knowing what you want.

I Feel Like That Girl on That TV Show

2010-08-16T10:00:00.006-06:00

Subtitle: The First Day of the Rest of My Life
Optional subtitle: The Last of the Overly Personal Posts (Seriously, you will know all my business, why am I am publishing this? It's journal material. Is this an unhealthy form of wanting my life to be exposed, not unlike reality TV show participants?)

When I broke up with Michael, I knew for sure that it was the right thing to do. But I hoped he would learn his lesson and maybe we would get back together. In the last six weeks, I have seen God move in my life and I have learned that I was the one who needed to learn some things. I love how God teaches us line upon line what we're able to receive in order to get us to where we need to be.

The first thing God taught me: "You really put your life on hold while you were with Michael and that wasn't right." I realized He was right (no surprise there). I had made the conscious decision not to make any new friends until I was married. (That was really dumb! What was I thinking?) I was not focusing on improving my career. I hadn't even entirely settled into my house-- I hadn't bought a bed ("we'll use Michael's after we're married), I hadn't hung any of my pictures ("when Michael moves in all that wall space will become bookshelves"). So, I bought a bed and arranged my house just the way I wanted it. I started going to ward and other activities and making friends. I decided on some career goals. I was starting to feel more like myself, and the God taught me my next lesson:

"You really made Michael the center of your life. That wasn't right. He hadn't asked you to do that or expected you too and it threw off your sense of self." Ouch. That one hurt. I had accidentally done that. And I immediately thought of the famous quote my boss and I had been discussing just two days before from "Atlas Shrugged" (the book, ironically, that originally brought Michael and I together): "I swear by my life and my love of it that I will never live for the sake of another or ask another to live for me." (A seeming contradiction to the basic tenants of Christianity? I strongly disagree, but that is topic for another day.) So, I started putting myself at the center of my life. I thought about things that brought me joy and started putting more of them in my life. I spent more time thinking about what my motivations were and living with more intention. And I started feeling even more like myself.

Then God told me I needed to stop wondering if Michael and I were going to get back together, and start thinking about what I wanted my next relationship to be like. Since I am a huge believer in the power of intentions, I was surprised to realize that I hadn't already been doing that. And thinking about what I want is one of my favorite things, so that was a fun activity. And as I remembered promises God has made me in the past and things that are important to me, I got a better understanding of what my ideal relationship looks like and that made me excited and happy and made it possible for me to follow my next direction from God:

"It's okay. Let him go."

I had been working on doing that for three weeks at that point, but when I was actually looking over the ledge with the intention of jumping, it was scary. But I knew it would be okay and so I did it. I just let go, emotionally. It was liberating, but a very interesting thing happened immediately thereafter: once I didn't feel a need to be loved and accepted and admired by him I began to realize how good and strong our relationship had been, how much he had loved me, and how my insecurities had largely been produced by myself. That was surprising to me.

Shortly thereafter my sister hosted an intervention which pretty much consisted of this: "You were cuckoo when you were dating Michael. Completely unlike yourself. Clingy and desperate. A totally different person." (Apparently she had been telling me this for months, but I hadn't ever registered it before.) As we talked about it more, I realized that she was right. As we discussed it more, I realized that being "crazy" in the relationship was a decision that I had subconsciously made and therefore, I could decide to be calm regarding this and any future relationship.

And THAT was the big lesson that God needed me to learn. It was a soul-shaking, paradigm-shifting event. And after that I was just CALM. I have always considered myself a very peaceful person, but I've learned that (for me at least) peace and calm are two very different things. Peace is feeling that all is right with the world, that God is in His heaven and things will work out and everything is okay. I've got lots of that. "Calm," I think, is more of "be still and know that I am God." Just kind of emotional stillness. It turns out, I have been missing that almost entirely. Probably for most of my life. But then, I made a decision to be calm and it was pretty neat. Very different. But good.

After about a week of calmness, I started wanting to tell Michael about "the new me." I was sure that now that I was calm, collected, and happily living my own fabulous life, our relationship would be totally better and we should get back together, at least to give it a go and see how it worked.

You can imagine my surprise when Michael said he didn't want to get back together. What?! On one hand, I was proud of his decisiveness, but then I wondered if he'd forgotten how totally wonderful I am, how much he loves and adores me, and what a great fit we are. We had a nice, open and honest discussion (one of the many good aspects of our relationship). It pretty much ended like this:
Michael: Why would you want to get back together? You were miserable the whole time we were together.
Me: I wasn't that miserable and I was creating the misery myself, not getting it from you. But I'm over that now. Our relationship will be different now. (me thinking: this has been the whole point of this conversation-- why aren't you listening to me? You've always been so good at listening to me.)

Then I stopped and thought for a microsecond and looked at him. And I realized: he had totally gotten over me. Well, this was an unexpected development that I had certainly not seen coming. But as soon as I realized it, I knew it was over, and I felt immediately that that was right and everything was okay. It was pretty much the exactly the same way I felt that morning in New York City when I realized my car was missing-- and we all remember how unexpectedly perfect that turned out. (if you do go to the link, be sure to read the part starting "driving home, I had this realization" because that's the main idea).

So we talked a little while longer and agreed that we had had a good run and felt very grateful to have known and loved each other (at least I did). I felt peaceful and thought it was a congenial, happy conversation. In reflecting on the exchange, I realize that it was probably super rude to say (even jokingly and with love) that I thought his wife would probably be ugly. Oops! It's my first major breakup, I'm still figuring these things out.

So that is absolutely, positely the end of that. I am ready to move on with my life. I am pleased to announce that I don't even want to be with Michael anymore. And when I think of not being with him, I feel fine. This is the right thing. It's a good thing Michael was sensible enough to get over me fast because if I had my way and we'd gotten back together, we would have both wasted more time and ended up sadder at the end. Which is why I knew I could trust him to make the right decision. Because he is a great guy. A guy who makes sure his woman has what she needs. And who could tell if I was worried (even without exchanging words or seeing my face) and did his best to make me feel better. So I wish him all the best and I hope his wife is very lovely.

And I have learned so very important things about how to be in a relationship. Now I will (hopefully) not make those same mistakes when I do meet the love of my life. I'm confident I'll find lots of other mistakes to make, but I'm glad I had the chance to date and love Michael and learn and grow and figure stuff out before the real thing. A sort of nifty "dress rehearsal."

I remember that when Michael and I were first dating and totally twitterpatted, but I wasn't sure he was "the one," I would tell my friends that I didn't know if this was "it" but if it was just a precursor to finding the love of my life, when he did come it would be unbelievably incredible because the warm-up was amazing. And I still think that it true. Yes, good things are lining up for Holly Bluemlein.

This is not what I expected to happen, but I just have to say what is in my soul: All is well. All is well.

Last Year's news

2010-08-10T07:46:00.025-06:00

Exactly one year ago today, I packed my car up and lefting my beloved Manhattan home, starting my epic cross-country road trip. As it turns out, road tripping with no schedule and plenty of money is a great vacation option.

In celebration of this anniversary, I've decided to report on "The Rip-roaring Trip Out," which is something I always meant to do, but never did.

Stop #1: Montauk

Montauk is a vacation town on the very further tip of Long Island. Some friends of ours had rented a house out there for the entire month of August so I decided to make that my first destination. Marcus came along. In fact, he came in the morning, serviced my car himself, loaded all my worldly possessions in my car himself, and then attached the bike rack and bikes himself. I miss that kid.

(and can I even SAY how happy I was to finally be one of those "cool kid" cars driving down the highway with a bike rack? You might also remember me mentioning something about it here.)

I prepared by putting on my dress that I always wore to the Hamptons and spent a few minutes being thankful that I had a life stage where I needed a dress that I "always wore to the Hamptons" and did my hair and make-up extra pretty. (Note: Montauk is not part of the Hamptons, but we did drive through the Hamptons and we thought we might stop to take some photos, so I wanted to be ready. We ended up stopping there, but only for some fruity drinks at Starbucks.)

I then, just like that, I drove off, leaving my wonderful, magical Manhattan. I tear up a little bit even now thinking about it. And actually I didn't drive, Marcus did because I hate driving in the city and he knows the bridges out of town way better than I did. Plus, that was I could look at everything. It was sad saying good-bye, but as soon as I couldn't see Manhattan anymore, I started getting excited about my new adventure again.

Montauk was beautiful! The house (which was also beautiful) was within walking distance to a private beach. This was my bedroom:
I love how the windows make it so you're practically sleeping in the backyard. Only with air-conditioning and a comfy mattress.

This was the backyard:
You can tell I was fresh out of the city because I was amazed by all the tree right there without a particular purpose or landscraping plan. It's not photo-worthy to me now a year later.

While we were there, we enjoyed trips to the beach, leisurely bike rides and sitting in the hot tub. I remember particularly a bit of culture shock when I went to the grocery store and all the workers spoke English (however, none of them knew what hummus was).

After two days, it was time to take off. Instead of paying $50 for a ferry to Conneticut, I decided to drive myself, which required driving the full length of Long Island again (3 hours. Seriously, it's long) and then across Manhattan and over the George Washington bridge to New Jersey. I love the George Washington bridge because I could see it from my bed for two years and looked at it during my thinking time. To me, it represents a lot of what I felt and learned and realized and experienced my last two years in New York. So, I was happy to "really leave" New York over it. Driving myself out this time broke my heart, especially since I left the island through my own 'hood. I think I could even see my building from the highway. I tried to touch the skyline through my window and just kept driving, tearing up a bit.

Stop #2 Kirtland, Ohio

My parents didn't want me driving all night and arriving home in Michigan at 3am, so they strongly recommended that I stay at a hotel (I would use the word "absolutely insisted" except I'm an independent adult and no one can insist I do anything). I stayed in Pennyslvania, which ended up being good because 1) I had forgotten what bad night vision I have while driving, 2) I didn't miss any of the totally gorgeous PA scenary, and 3) it enabled me to take an unscheduled stop in Kirtland, Ohio which is a historical sight for the LDS church (which as you know is the church I'm lucky enough to be a part of). It was a brief, but enjoyable visit, even though I didn't take any pictures.

Stop #3 Michigan

I already blogged about that.

Stop #4 St. Louis

This was a highlight. I grew up near St. Louis (3hrs away) and we went there sometimes and I always thought it was super lame. Turns out, St. Louis is TOTALLY AWESOME! My best friend from high school, Jamie, had been living there a few years and had been asking me to come visit, so I figured this was the perfect opportunity. I never thought that I would leave LOVING St. Louis. I ended up staying four or five days and I would have stayed longer, but I was afraid Jamie and her boyfriend (now fiance!) would keep buying me things.

There is so so so so so much to love about St. Louis!

The zoo!! Hello! You can pet sting rays (for a dollar, but that's okay because admission is free) and I learned that hippos are my very favorite animal. So graceful under water! No wonder Walt Disney made them ballerinas in that movie. Plus, from Jamie's super awesome apartment, I could ride my bike there! Best zoo ever.

The Art Museum (also free) where they had a surprisingly good collection and I discovered my new favorite painting of all time. I could just look at it for hours.

The Food-- best ice cream sundae I've ever had (seriously) and it turns out St. Louis has their own style of pizza and I LOVE it! (thin crust with a tangy cheese and sauce! yum! I need to go back and get some right now!)

The Botanical Garden is hands-down the best one I've ever been too, including all the ones in New York too. (I mean those are also very very nice, but different and I liked that one better.)
Check out this lily pad-- it looks fake, but it's not.
Their koi pond (although it was more river-like) was also awesome. They sold a handful of food for a quarter and it was the best $2 I've ever spent. Look at the photo-- you can't even tell which are the fish and which are the ducks. The ducks would literally walk on the backs of the fish. Awesome.

The museum was only okay, but did provide me with one of my very favorite quotes: It's profound really. And since discovering the quote, I've realized that it's true again and again and again.

The St. Louis temple is great. It's the first temple I went to and this was my first time back. And I'd forgotten about how non-Manhattan temples have such beautiful landscaping. As soon as you drive in the gates it's like a fairy land.

Oh man, I love St. Louis. This was a very unexpected turn of events. Also, my sheer dumb luck (good thing I extended my time in Michigan!) Jamie had some med school friends staying with her who live in Salt Lake now. The wife is from Indiana and now we watch the Colts games together. Small world.

Stop #5 Oklahoma City

My two brothers and my little sister all live together in Oklahoma City, so of course I would not miss this chance to visit them. Also, at this point in my vacation I got a little head cold and it was a good place to convalesce.

Turns out Oklahoma City is pretty neat too. But the vast majority of my time was spent at the house, resting, watching downloaded TV shows, eating mass amounts of yummy food, and, oddly enough, playing zombie-based board games.

Also, I got to go to Cici's pizza which was my very favorite place to eat on my mission, but I'd not gotten to eat there since then. Those of you who have experienced it know what I'm talking about.

The best part was getting to see my siblings in their "natural setting" and spend time with them.

Stop #6 Akron, Colorado

This bustling metropolis of well over 1,500 residence was a not-to-be-missed stop on my adventure because it's the home of my favorite auntie Kathleen.

We had a lovely dinner together, went on a walk, watched a movie, and I had a nice tour of the town. We went to a park I remember visiting as a little girl where they had this mini-merry-go-round that I have always remembered as the greatest thing in the world. It was still there, but could have used a good oiling. We did a little shopping and auntie bought me a book which was very nice. I was sad I couldn't stay longer, but by this point I was getting anxious to get somewhere settled in. Plus, I'd already delayed my Utah reservations about 3 times. So after a day and a half, I was off.

Stop #7 Provo and Tooele Utah

I stayed with my sister in Provo and we went to visit my sister in Tooele. It was the first time I'd seen my neice Ashley. My brother John (who was at three of my 7 cross-country stops) was in town for a job interview. I stayed with them a few days, but by that point I was ready to SETTLE DOWN SOMEWHERE ALREADY!!

So on September 1, I drove up to Sugarhouse (a neighborhood in Salt Lake City) and moved into my new place to start my new life. But that's a different story.

My Dave Barry calendar entry for the day

2010-08-06T11:10:00.002-06:00

It was too long to put on facebook, so I'm posting it here.

"New York City, as you know if you have ever met a New Yorker, is the greatest place in the world for everything: buildings, restaurants, stores, pizza, water, nightclubs that nobody can get into, hand gestures, rats, everything. New Yorkers are very proud of being from such a great city. If a New Yorker is forced to go to another place, he never misses an opportunity to tell anyone within the sound his voice (a fourteen-mile radius) specifically how the new place is inferior to New York. If a New Yorkers visits China, he will declare that the Chinese food in New York is much better. This is why New Yorkers are so popular wherever they go."--Dave Barry

I mean, I love my new home, but I still find that this is true.

A Music Video

2010-07-27T12:12:00.005-06:00

Thank you, thank you, thank you Pandora for introducing this song into my life a mere 15 minutes ago.

Title: 2 Atoms In A Molecule

I don't know how a person could stay sad about the end of a relationship with such a peppy, clever break-up song around. It's especially amusing if you read the lyrics.

PS my computer doesn't have Flash, so I'm not sure if the video downloaded, but I hope so. I'd hate for any interested party to miss this!

Several Small Updates

2010-07-26T12:03:00.007-06:00

Well, that last post has been up there for a while and, let's face it, was a bit of a downer, so it's high time I updated with the things I've been up to. Consider this three weeks worth up blogs.

Mini-post 1:
Draper Pretends to be New York

Those of you familiar with life in NYC know that one of the big summer events is free concert in Central Park by the New York Symphony. Well, it turns out they have similar events out here in the boonies! To celebrate the brand new ampitheater in Draper (it's very pretty-- built right in to the side of the mountain), the Utah Symphony came and gave a free concert. It was very different from the concerts in Manhattan, but still very nice. I didn't have to bring everything I'd need for the event with me to work. I drove my car and parked nearby, not dealing with the subway. And I could actually see the stage. I'm quite sure that the last Symphony concert I attended in Central Park had more people there than live in Draper. (I'm not over-exaggerating-- I believe the announcer said there were more than 200,000 people in attendance.) One more reason to love Draper.

Mini-post 2:
Pizza Obsession

I went through this stage last week where I was obsessed with eating pizza all the time. This is out of character for me because normally I'm too cheap to buy myself pizza very often. But due to various circumstances, at one point I had three partially eaten pizzas in my fridge.

Yep, I was living large.

Mini-post 3

More Proof for Metaphysics

I am a big believer that most physical problems are manifestations of unresoluted mental or emotional issues, as illustrated by the following actual conversation I once had with a friend:

Me: I've been feeling sick all day.

Friend: Oh no! What's wrong?

Me: I don't know! My book is missing.

The book I'm referring to here is a handy reference guide where you can look up medical maladies and it will tell you the unlying cause and the mantra you can use to get over it. This book has been missing for almost three months and I've mourned it's loss. Especially because I've been getting fat in my arms which has never happened to me before ever in my life and I want to know why.

I'm happy to announce that I found my book. The first thing I did was look up fat arms and I was not at all surprise to see the cause: anger at being denied love. Another win for the book.

Mini-post 4

I Love My Cottage

At some point in the past, a stinking genius must have lived in my house. My mind is continually blown by how perfected designed the annuals are. There is ALWAYS something in bloom! It is a-MAZING. As soon as one thing dies, a different thing is blooming. It is just a wonder that someone could be so smart as to figure something like that out. The roses all died just recently and now this flower is blooming. I don't know what it is, but it's pretty!

Since the break-up, I've been much more social with NMPs (non-Michael people, I just made that up) and consequently have been having lots of people over to my house who have never been there before. I normally give my address and a brief description because the street number is not actually posted on the house. But I have discovered a re-occuring theme: first time visitors normally say they recognized the place as mine because of the Mike Lee posters.
Mini-post 5

Garden Update

I am extraordinarily pleased to announce that I have started harvesting from my garden. So far, I've been blessed with (surprise, surprise) zucchini. It works out well because I love zucchini. I've been eating zucchini patties like it's my job. Yum! I spent a lot of time in my garden on Saturday, mostly because it was Pioneer Day and nothing else in town was opened (is it just me, or does it seem like the pioneers would be horrified that we close the temple in their honor? ). I love my garden.

Then Sunday morning I was making some hummus for a party that night and (you will not even believe how awesome my life is) I just went out to my garden and picked some of my own cilantro to put in. It made me so happy! I am also very pleased to report that even the basil is doing well (and my regular readers will know this is, indeed, a miracle).

Well, I had two other stories to share, but this post has gone on long enough, so I'm going to end now. I just wanted to reassure everyone that I'm doing well. Life goes on. And I am basically happy.

Another overly personal post

2010-07-12T09:17:00.010-06:00

A few days ago, I took the last post down because I felt it put too much blame for the break-up on Michael. Then I put it back up, but with plans to put a new post with my new understanding of what went wrong and an update of how I'm feeling. However, up until two days ago I was not able to think or feel anything consistently enough to document on a blog post.

I will say this: last week at church I shared my testimony using the words from my favorite hymn: "The Lord is my light, though clouds may arise faith stronger than sight looks up to the skies where Jesus for ever in glory doth reign, then how can I ever in darkness remain?" That's how I feel. I am sad, but I don't feel like I'm in any darkness. I know God is guiding me and that I'm in a good place, even though it's a sad place, and that eventually everything will work out for my best. I know that. And I'm very thankful to know that because I have been SAD.

It took me a while to hone in on sad because it just doesn't come naturally to me these days. I would get sad for a little bit, but not be able to stick with it because I've felt so blessed and lucky in so many other ways. I'm surrounded by so many people who love me and want to help me. I live in such a beautiful place. Everything else in my life is going so well. Michael didn't mean to hurt me and never lied to me or abused me in any way. I knew that God was guiding me and I was in the right place. And I knew everything would work out perfectly in the end. So, even though people would tell me I should go ahead and mourn, and even though I knew that it was fine to be sad, I just couldn't quite be sad for long periods of time.

Well, that was then and this is now. All of the above are still true. I still feel very blessed. I still know God is in charge and has a big plan that will ultimately be for my good. But I am sad and, dare I say it, my heart is broken. Now I understand what people are talking about. Breaking up is awful, even if it's all for the best. I'm learning to be more sympathetic to people whose heart hurts. And I'm learning that being sad is not the same thing as not having faith. I've learned that when I cry hard enough my cheeks start to tingle. Also, I've learned that when dealing with a break-up, buying sexy lingerie makes me feel better.

I've also learned to be humble and accept love and help. I've seen more clearly how really wonderful and kind humans can be. I'm thankful for so many people. My sweet aunt and uncle who went through everyone's family reunion registration folder and scratched out Michael's name. My cousin who texts me every day to see how I'm doing. The girl (I don't even know her name) who saw me crying right after Relief Society and went to the bathroom and brought me some toilet paper. I'm thankful for the nice emails I've gotten from Michael's friends and family. I have a friend who mailed me a special gift to show her "cherishes me" and I wear it every day to remember that I am very loved. A different friend has volunteered an hour massage. My sisters and mother have been so wonderful. I appreciate my co-worker who is going to help me bring my new mattress home. People are really, really beautiful, and it is wonderful to be on the receiving end of so much love.

So, that's where I am now: sad, but optimistic. Wondering if Michael will come back, but emotionally letting him go. Broken-hearted, but relying on the Lord and trusting Him. I am thankful that I have felt Him so close to me throughout.

And lest you think I spend all my time sitting around moping, let me add here that I am redecorating my house (more on that later) and I've started dating online again. I've been emailing some really great guys and am feeling happy about that. I know that normally after a break-up, women tend to change their hair in some way, but I really like my hair, so I'm trying to think of other things I can change.

I often wonder how people deal with heartache when they DON'T know that God is watching them and has a plan. Or when the Spirit isn't confirming to them that they're in the right place. Or who aren't surrounded by people who love and support them. Or if they have really been abused or abandoned by someone they love. That would be really horrible. I wonder how they deal with it? As my wise mother told me yesterday, "May you never find out."

So, that's where I am now. Sad, but doing fine. I definitely feel like I understand the human experience better now. I'm excited to see what God has in store for me. I know that (eventually) everything is going to work out just great. I'm glad I know God is mindful of me and helping me create a really wonderful life. I'm glad to be in a covenant relationship with Him.

A Big Announcement

2010-06-30T20:12:00.005-06:00

But probably not the announcement you're expecting.

Several months ago, Michael had a goofy dream that he told me about the next day. In the dream, he came over to my house and I had a live duck I was trying to kill. He tried killing it, but couldn't. I asked him what he thought the dream meant and he didn't know. But to me, a quasi-trained Freudian analysist, the meaning was obvious: the duck represented Michael's fear of commitment. I couldn't kill it, he had to kill it himself and he was trying to, but was having a hard time. Since that time, we have joked with each other about his need to kill a duck.

Those who have been following our relationship closely know about Michael's fear of commitment. Of the almost eight months we've been together, we've spent a total of about a month taking "time off" and not communicating so he'd have time to "think about what he wanted." These "times off" frequently resulted in me deciding to break up with him, but every time he would realize he didn't want to lose me, convince me to stick around and he would treat me totally awesome until I became secure in the relationship again and then he'd decide to back out again. We've been through at least three cycle of that.

Our most recent "week off" happened after we had set a wedding date that we were tentatively working towards and we were both happily counting down together. Michael had ordered my engagement ring and I was doing a little wedding planning while waiting for him to pop the question. His request for a week off was fairly (but not entirely) unexpected, but after a prayer and with a lot of help from my Heavenly Father, it became a great blessing to me because I learned to really cherish myself and came to really understand for the first time about each person's divine nature and individual worth (you might remember this post and this post where I reported without telling what was actually going on). You might remember that Michael showed up at my house after the week off with two bouquets of flowers, but I didn't tell you the best, most sweetest part-- after giving me the flowers he said he had something else for me. He went into my kitchen, got out my chopping board and my biggest knife, then he produced a rubber duckie and cut its head off declaring, "The duck is dead!" and that he was ready to commit.

Since then things have been great. I have felt loved and secure and it has been really nice. We went to a play last Monday night and I felt like we were the most in love couple there. It was really nice.

But, sadly, it has come to my attention that the duck is NOT dead, that Michael still doesn't know what he wants, and is very hesitant to give up his bachelor freedoms. I know that he loves me because he tells me all the time and his actions show that he does. And I know that it's not his intention to jerk me around, yet that's what's happening.

And so I decided, as a woman who cherishes myself and who has recently been promised by God that I will have everything I want in a relationship, that I don't want to be with Michael anymore. I want to be with a man who KNOWS that he wants to be with me and who can't imagine being without me, not just a guy who realizes categorically that I'm quite a catch and so is trying to convince himself that he should marry me even though he doesn't really want to. I know he loves me and that he wants to be with me to an extent, but not enough. I'm tired of the trauma. I'm tired of crying because it hurts that he doesn't know if he wants to be with me, but then feeling bad for crying because he treats me nice and says nice things to me and he's TRYING to want to marry me. I'm tired of feeling like as soon as I get comfortable and secure (again) he'll decide (again) that he's not sure. I'm tired of doing lots of little things to make Michael happy (because I love doing them), but then not being sure if he feels the same way about me. I'm tired of the underlying feeling that I've never been quite able to shake that I'm sort of an inconvenience to him. I deserve better.

And so, it's sad for both of us, but I'm calling it quits. I broke up with Michael about 15 minutes ago. Ironically, on the very day that six weeks ago we had been planning to get married.

My sister pointed out that there's a guy out there who is dying to marry me and will want desperately to marry me as soon as he knows me. I know that that is true and I'm excited to for that person to find me.

I don't regret anything about Michael. I don't regret giving him my heart and loving him. It has been really wonderful being loved by him. It has been all-in-all a great experience and one I plan to look back on with gratitude and happiness. But, it's time to move on. It's sad, but I know things will work out for the best and I will be very happy with how it all ends up. I hope very much that the same happens for Michael because he deserves it too.

I love this song and I think it sums up how I feel just about perfectly. Just change the words in the last verse from "David" to "Michael." The whole song is really good and has been a theme song of mine for a few years, but you can just listen to the last verse and get the basic idea of the current situation.

PS I wrote this post on Monday when I decided to end the relationship (Michael was out of town until this afternoon which is why it just now happened). And this post is a reflection of how I saw things then. But now that he and I have talked it out and ended things rather nicely, I feel very calm and assured that this is the right thing (although I reserve the right to weep and wail and cry later, should I feel inclined to do so). Right now, I really feel that more than Michael's fear of commitment, the relationship ended because it wasn't quite right. And that is a very peaceful feeling to me, at least right in this moment.

Reflections on the Constitution

2010-06-15T08:59:00.006-06:00

Like many Americans, recently I have been thinking a lot about The Constitution. I understand it way better now and have learned some things that have been very enlightening to me, and I want to share them with someone. Thank you for listening. (I will throw in some pictures to keep your attention.)

I've always believed that The Constitution was inspired by God, but until I started my current job I didn't actually know very much about it aside from the rights spelled out in the Bill of Rights. Now that I understand more of the philosophy in it, I see more clearly just how unique and wonderful of a document it is. Because, really, these days just about everyone in the first world has freedom of speech and religion, so there has got to be something more to it.

Our Founding Fathers understood clearly that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men that as soon as they get a little authority they will begin to exercise unrighteous dominion. They had seen the effects of a strong central government and how it took away the individual rights of the people. Not just the right to speak and worship and assemble, but to govern themselves and to be able to use their property they way they wanted.

They also understood that rights do not come from the government, they come from God. There is no actual right that the government can GIVE us. The government does not give us permission to say what we want, go where we want, print and read what we want, what to do with our money, etc. The government is simple suppose to allow these rights. Which leads to my main point here, which is the single largest threat to any of our rights, freedoms and liberties IS government. What other organization would even think to tell us we can't say something, assemble somewhere, worship the way we want or spend our money the way we want? And I think this is something that we as Americans have lost sight of.

With this in mind, our Founding Fathers designed a outline for a government (The Constitution) whose very purpose was to protect people FROM the government. The Constitution is largely a document of "thou shalt not's." The government SHALL NOT INFRINGE on the rights of the people to keep and bear arms. The government SHALL MAKE NO LAW establishing a religion or PROHIBITING the exercise thereof. The government SHALL NOT VIOLATE a person's right to secure his property. All of these are just examples from the Bill of Rights (and if you study the Bill of Rights, every single one is telling the government what it cannot do). Most of The Constitution is a big "NO YOU CAN'T" to the Federal Government. As one small example: No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by the Law (Article I, Section 9).

The Founding Fathers intended for the government to be small and thus leave individual rights and property alone as much as possible. And THAT has been the key to America's success. And therein, (in my opinion) is the REAL key to equality-- ALL men have equal access to their own lives and the fruit of their labor, without the government interfering. America was built on the idea of self-reliance and industry, but the current entitlement mentality has made us lose sight of our foundation.

Here's a rule of thumb my boss taught me for understanding the difference between a right and an entitlement. A right is something you do: I have the right to vote, to worship, to speak, to go on a walk, to have a job, to own a gun, to buy stuff, etc. A right is NOT something that someone else gives you, especially when you keep in mind that the government cannot give you anything without first taking it away from someone else (in other words, saying that they do not have a right to their own property). So, I do not have a right to: receive government money for buying a car or a house, universal healthcare, welfare, social security, money for researching wildlife, etc. (As an aside, any state that wants to can offer these benefits, but the federal government under the current way it is legally obligated to run has absolutely no business doing any of it.)

We, as a people, have lost sight of this idea and that's what has caused this massive government spending, unreasonable taxes (most people work 4 months a year just for Uncle Sam), huge federal debt (because four months a year obviously isn't enough so our grandchildren will need to pay for our living expenses) and thus the decline of individual liberty. It is all very discouraging.

But, there is hope! I firmly believe that there is not a problem wrong with the federal government today that cannot be cured by getting back to The Constitution.

WARNING: THE NEXT SECTION CONTAINS MY PERSONAL ENDORSEMENT OF A POLITICAL CANDIDATE. (Also, it only applies to my Utah readers.)

That is why I passionately and adamently support Mike Lee for Utah Senate.

I like Mike for the following reasons:

*He is a constitutional lawyer who has been concerned about state sovereignty and thus meticulously studying The Constitution since he was 10 years old. This is not a passing fling for him.

*He has dedicated his career to getting government out of his law client's businesses
*He has sworn that he will not vote for any bill that is not in harmony with The Constitution and I believe and trust that he will actually do it.

*He finds solutions for real-life problems (ie the fact that the Feds own 60% of the land in Utah) using The Consitution.

*I've heard him speak several times and am always impressed with his straight-forward and practical answers to complex issues.

Further, I think that Mike's suitability for the job can also be highlighted by the pathetic attempts others have used to discredit him: that he's a Washington lawyer (yes, he was the law clerk for Judge Alito who is the most conversative, constitutionally-based judge in the Supreme Court), that he makes $600,000 and hasn't paid off his student loans (because he has a lower rater on them then his mortgage and there are tax advantages to keeping them), and that he waves The Constitution around and quotes from it too much when speaking (the same way a preacher might wave around the Bible, in my opinion). If this is the worst you can throw at a candidate, I think it reflects well on said candidate.

Mike wants to run a clean campaign, so I am not suppose to throw any mud at his opponent. So, in my official role as a Mike Lee volunteer, I will simply say that Tim Bridgewater is a very nice man, but I like Mike better. However, as a blogger, I will share with you a website that I find very interesting entitled "Stop Bridgewater." People like Bridgewater because he is a self-made man who has been very successful in business. However, as the website points out, the majority of his business practices have involved receiving and using earmarks and other government funds. He is now claiming to be a advocate of small government after earning his fortune at the tax payer's expense.

I like Mike because he is just what we need right now-- a solid conservative who understands the proper role of government and will work tirelessly to get us back to the vision our forefathers had for this country. A man who would look at a bill like the now-infamous "No Child Left Behind Act" and recognize right away that it would be a dismal failure, and thus refuse to vote for it. (Unlike some people who would push it through, form a business profiting from it, and then denounce it as soon as it became unpopular. I'm looking at you, Tim Bridgewater.)

When I hear Mike speak, I feel hopeful about the future of our great country. Not a false hope based on promises of receiving more from the government, but a real hope that with hard work and dedication we can get back to what we used to be and what God and our forefathers intended us to be-- a republic dedicated to protecting individual rights. A place where people stand accountable for their own decisions, take care of themselves, and choose to help others. That is the America I love and the America I know Mike will help preserve.

So, please Utah friends, please go vote on June 22nd (next Tuesday). This election could come down to a few hundred votes and every person counts! Like Gandhi said, I know great things can happen if we will BE the change we're looking for in the world.

Also, as Levar Burton says, "You don't have to take my word for it." Study the candidates yourself. Be an informed voter.

Thank you for letting me share.

One week down, the rest of my life to go

2010-06-10T15:40:00.004-06:00

This last week of self-cherishing has been so incredibly awesome. Life-changing really. I know I tend to throw that expression around willy nilly, but this time I really mean it.

It all started simple enough-- getting a massage (I'm glad to say the world did not end when I "wasted" the money on that), spending a day riding roller coasters and buying any of the amusement park food I wanted (fun!), doing some shopping. But then one morning, seemingly out of nowhere, I had one of those break-through, now-I-get-it moments. I realized-- really realized-- for the first time ever that I am precious through and through based 100% only on the fact that God made me. The cynic might argue, but God made everyone. I respond: I know! Isn't it AMAZING?!! I always believed that, but know I really get it. And realizing something like that changes you on a certain level.

It was a great week. And I intend to carry on with my self-cherishing ways. It is an awesome feeling.

To celebrate my week, last night Michael brought me not one, but TWO bouquets of flowers.

And instead of feeling guilty that he was wasting his money on me, I just felt very happy.

A girl could get used to this.

A Breakthrough, with goals

2010-06-03T09:44:00.003-06:00

(Please note: this post is a bit more personal than I usually publish, but I'm putting it here as a form of accountability to make sure I follow-up with my lofty goals.)

Last night, I had a really good thinking/praying session and I realized something so, so clearly: I am going to get everything I want. I absolutely am. Then an additional realization/revelation was added to complement the first: in order for that to happen, I need to change my heart. Specifically, do a better job cherishing myself.

I am happy to be able to say that I like myself and that I love myself. But cherishing is another matter-- to hold dear, treat with care and affection. It makes sense that no one else can really, truly cherish me until I cherish myself and as a natural result, expect that from others.

At first I was a bit intimidated by this assignment, but now I'm super excited. I have a gameplan:

First, I need to get better at spending money on myself. I am very thifty, and I like that about myself (especially when I peridically decide to quit my job and be unemployed for a few months and have the financial wherewithall to do so). And it is true that I don't make nearly as much money as I did in New York and my expenses here are the same or more. BUT there is no reason I should have this guilt associated with spending money on myself. So I am choosing to have a better, more-freely-giving-to-myself attitude about money.

Luckily, I just got my favorite necklace (my only nice one) fixed, so I can wear it every day. I bought it for myself for Christmas when I realized that Michael was not going to get it for me. It reminds me that I am worth taking care of and spending money on, and that doing so even makes me happy. I love this necklace. It is pretty, and it reminds me that I CAN have pretty things, and that I need to take care of me and not wait for a man to do it (although I do look forward to a time when a man will take care of me).

Buying it for myself just because I wanted it was a major breakthrough for me. But there's plenty more where that came from. I'm going to do the things I've always wanted to do but was afraid to spend the money on, like getting a season ticket to the local amusement park. I'm going to buy myself some nice make-up (even though none of my friends here can get me hefty discounts). I MIGHT even go so far as getting myself a manicure and a pedicure. I love them but in the past have only gotten them when it was socially unavoidable because I couldn't justify spending the money. But I'm worth it! This is all very liberating.

The second part of my gameplan involves mantra while I'm driving in my car. I will spare you the details, but they are very empowering. And I've had very good luck with mantras in the past.

Third, I am going to be more mindful of letting people help me and love me. For some reason I'm always surprised when someone is willing to do something nice for me, and that's just silly. I am thankful and happy to receive help and attention, and need to realize and accept that people love me and want to do things for me and it is a joy (not an inconvenience) for them. I have taken self-reliance to point that is ridiculous--even feeling guilty for things like getting a card from my mom ("she has better things to do") or accepting help from a sister ("I hate to waste her time"). I am chosing to let go of this harmful and untrue beliefs. This goal could be a little harder, and I'm still intimidated by it, but I am CHOSING to let go and make new habits and patterns for myself. I am worth it. Receiving, after all, is the soul of femininity.

So, that is what I"m working on right now. Thank you for your love and support.

The new job

2010-05-17T11:43:00.012-06:00

As you may have heard, I got a promotion! Now instead of "teacher in training" I am "Assistant (to the ) CEO." I work at the corporate office and it is fun! Now, some people are surprised to hear about a school having a CEO, but we are a pretty big company-- 23 campus in 4 states and well over 1000 employees. We are a private, for-profit company, after all! And we sell a great product that people love. (For example, 20% of our students score in the 99% percentile of national tests. True story.)

My position is great! My boss is great! I am learning all about the school and always learning fun new things.

I've composed a list of things I love about my job.

1. I have my own office with a door. The door even has my name on it.

2. I learn new stuff all the time. Or get to spend time thinking about and discussing interesting things. As part of my work, I study the Constitution. This morning I spent an hour with my boss discussing whether the emotion or the thought comes first and how we can use that to motivate children to be conceptual thinkers. The day before the main topic of discussion was how much of your personality if trained and how much is innate, and how effective teachers can influence that. Lately my boss has been very interested in my views on energy, chakras, meridians, etc. As an extension of that, I've been watching youtube videos explaining quantum physics.

3. I get to be politically involved. I've helped plan several events for candidates. I organized a field trip (including chartering a bus) to the Tax Day Tea Party at the Capitol Building, which I also attended on company time. I made myself a sign for the event: (I could have had the Publishing Department make me one, but I wanted to look grass-rootsy.)

4. I get to read all the resumes and decide who gets to come in for testing. It is fun-- most of the time. I have also learned that of all the possible bad grammar things that could bug me, the thing that bugs me the most by far is how often people omit much-needed hyphens. For example, I guarantee you that 95% of the people who apply, would have left the hyphen out of the previous sentence. It drives me nuts!

5. When I have a hard decision to make at my job, I ask myself "What would Ayn Rand do?"

6. We are a very pro-America company. When I moved into my office, there were (by actual count) seven flags there.

7. Since I'm not standing in front of a class all day, I can wear high heels every day. And that makes me feel pretty. Also, since I'm trying to impress the higher-ups, I usually wear earrings. It's nice.

8. Since I have my own office with a door and it's in an openly politically conservative office, I finally have a nice place to hang my Ronald Reagan calendar and my NRA plaque.

Of course, it's not all kicks and giggles. There are some things that I do not like about my job. Namely, sending rejection letters to people who came for an interview, but we decide not to hire. On one hand, it's a good thing because before I started they didn't send them at all, which is kind of inconsiderate. But I have learned that I do not like signing anything where a smiley face after my name is not appropriate. And I send a lot of them-- I bet an average of one per day. But that is about the only thing I don't like, so I guess I should complain too much.

So, as you can see, life is quite good. No surprise that things are working out very well for me. I am Holly Bluemlein, after all.

Normally I'm a good influence on people

2010-04-27T08:06:00.003-06:00

Here is a picture I took of Michael shortly after we started dating:

Here is a picture I took of Michael this Saturday, after five months of dating:
Interesting.

Northwest Tour 2010

2010-04-20T14:31:00.013-06:00

I had a week off for Spring Break. Since the northwest is the last region of the country that I have never been to at all, and since one of my best friends just moved to Seattle, I decided to drive on up (863 miles, estimated 14 hours) and see what I could see.

Seattle did not disappoint! The report of my adventures will revolve largely around the things I remembered to photograph while there.

I saw the sights.

The troll under the bridge (yes, that is a real VW Bug under his hand)

The World-Famous Pike's Place Market (the flowers were my favorite by far)
I had fun seeing lots of friends. Originally, I just thought, "I'll go see Becca in Seattle." Then when I was checking my route and saw I would pass through Boise, I decided to stop and visit Rachel (which I have been meaning to do forever) and meet her hubby. While I was driving up, I remembered my hero/adventuring mentor Amber who is currently running a disaster clean-up business in southern Washington. She is my favorite and I haven't seen her in years. Plus, when I changed my plans to see her, I saw my new route would take me through Portland, which made me wonder if Amy still lived in Oregon. Turned out she does, and I got to see her for breakfast Saturday morning! Add wonderful Jenn, who also lives in Seattle, and I got to see five awesome friends for the price of one! I love my life.

One night Becca, Jenn, and I stayed up until 3:30 playing Ticket to Ride and laughing laughing laughing. I kept telling myself: "Married people don't get to do fun things like this."
Jenn took me to a brothel-turned-pizza restaurant for dinner. They even have lingerie there that you can put on while you eat. (You might think that it would be a cute idea to send your boyfriend a picture of you wearing lingerie in a former brothel because, after all, you add MORE clothes to what you had on before, so it's really not scandelous or seductive or anything. Oh, what a silly little naive girl you are. Don't do it.)

I came out one day to discover my hubcap was missing. I couldn't figure out why anyone would want to steal just one hubcap and then it occurred to me that it must have fallen off. Which might explain why my wheel had felt woobly the day before.

In other car-related news, I hit another milestone which, true to form, I missed by about 6 miles

As it should be, the vacation food was unbelievable!

Becca and I accidentally ate an entire container of fortune cookies in a little over 20 minutes. They were very delicious. But there were only four fortunes in the whole box and all of them were, oddly enough, sponsored by the US Census. I am not making this up.

Jenn and Becca and I went and got some heavenly cake

This pie I ate with Amber in southern Washington. It was so good I literally had to put my head down on the table and pound my fist. Seriously. It was that good.

My time in Seattle reminded me that there are things I love about big city life (the architecture, the stores, the parks, all the people), but that there are definite advantages to small-town life (most notably- parking lots).

I had so much fun shopping, looking at beautiful spring in Seattle, and mostly catching up and laughing with friends.

Then right after my breakfast in Portland with Amy on Saturday morning, I took off quick like a bunny to get home because I wanted to spend Easter with Michael.

I got home at 11pm and was very pleased to see Michael (who had been sufficiently lonely while I was gone) had gotten there before me to turn on the heater so I wouldn't be cold and put dinner in the oven so I wouldn't be hungry. What a man! This picture is actually the next day when he was carving the Easter ham. One of the best things about having a man around is never having to carve the meat yourself.

The next day I got to watch conference with my special fella, while cooking up a nice Easter dinner. What a good way to celebrate Christ's triumphant over death and sin. As I listened to the choir sing about Him and His living prophets and apostle talk about Him, I felt very very thankful to Jesus Christ for what He did for me on the first Easter and how he continually manifests himself in my life today. I know that He lives and that He is the Son of God. I am so thankful for my testimony of His restored gospel.

Should have seen this coming

2010-03-17T23:19:00.004-06:00

Most beautiful sunshiny day ever + the assignment to teach PE all afternoon + the decision to play softball so we could be outside = (seriously, it's redder than it looks here)

I'm just glad I put a 30 spf on my face every single morning, just in case.

Still Alive

2010-03-10T21:57:00.004-07:00

I'm at my sister Ann's house getting some training for my triathalon, and I've decided to take advantage of the computer situation to do a little blogging. In lieu of some of the clever blogs I've been composing in my head, I'll just do some bullet points about what's going on in my life, in case you care.

1. Like I mentioned, I've decided to become a triathalete. I guess I'll need to learn how to spell that if I"m going to be serious about this. Ann (who is a swimmer and a triathalete) gave me some personal training and in a 20 minute session, I went from horrible, afraid-to-put-my-face-under-the-water (I know, isn't that embarrasing) to below-average, but not hating it. In fact, I kind of liked it after a bit. All told, I probably swam about half a mile and walked away just fine.

2. The decorating of my house is going great! I only have one picture because I didn't plan ahead for having this unlimited computer access. This is the view of kitchen from the living room.

I love it very much. Warms my heart and makes me happy. The plaid was an inspired (literally) solution to the fact that I didn't like the way the yellow and green looked together.

I'll post other pictures later. Hopefully. (teaser--the bedroom is violet)

3. I like my job (even though they have me in preschool right now). I'll put more about that later too.

4. I went through the pictures on my phone to see if there was anything else I should be reporting on and I found a picture of the flowers Michael sent me for Valentine's Day.

So, things are going well with Michael too.

5. I got called to be my ward's Emergency Preparedness Coordinator (church assignment helping to make sure that everyone in the congregation is prepared in case of a disaster). I am very excited about it. I used to think that Sunday School teacher was the best calling in the church, but I see now that I was very, very wrong.

I've now reported on my house, my job, my boyfriend, and my exercising. Those are the main things in my life right now. Have I moved to Utah and turned boring? I hope not. Well, only time will tell I suppose. But I am going to bed now.

An Unexpected Turn of Events

2010-03-01T08:54:00.002-07:00

First, let me explain/justify my lack of blogging. I am currently without a computer, so that has been a hinderance to my updating. Even now, at great personal sacrifice, I am blogging from my iPhone. But I couldn't stand to have the same post up for a whole month, so I'm putting aside my dislike of typing large amounts with my thumbs and taking one for the team. But THAT is not the surprising thing that I alluded to in my blog title. This is--

Last Saturday while I was riding my bike to the gym, I had a very startling realization: I LOVE Draper. (Draper is the town where I live.) I don't just tolerate it (which I was expecting) or like it okay (which I was hoping), but I full-blown love it. I love looking at the big beautiful old houses and the big beautiful new houses and the regular-sized houses. I love that there are horse stables all over the place. I love that sometimes it smells like cows. I love how it is nestled right next to the mountains. I love the variety of stores that are on the Parkway. I love that there are so many biking and jogging paths. I super love that I share a highway exit with Ikea. I love that despite being so close to Sandy, it's not boring like Sandy. I love that it used to just be cow farmers and now it's full of regular people (although I do feel a little sorry for the cow farmers who must have been forced out). I love that it's part of Salt Lake County. I love the super awesome water park Cowabunga Bay, even though I've never been yet. I love the way all the houses look with their Christmas lights. I love the feel of it. I love looking at it. I love the way "I live in Draper" rolls off my tongue.

When I decided to move to Utah, I knew it was a decision that would bring me joy because I knew that's what God wants for me. But I did not expect that I would find any amount of that joy from my geographical surroundings. Having known and loved a city the way I love New York, I didn't figure that another place could be worthy of a description involving the word "love.". And while I love Draper in a very very different way than New York and not quite with the same fierce intensity, I am happy to realize that I love it with a peaceful, firm and even a little excited feeling. And that makes me happy.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I forgot this

2010-02-01T20:09:00.002-07:00

As I was painting my kitchen this evening, all the sudden out of nowhere I remembered one of the very best, most wonderful things about my birthday celebration in Vegas, and I knew right away that I simply MUST share it with you.

My super wonderful boyfriend HAPPILY snuggled up with me and watched ALL FOUR HOURS of my favorite version of Jane Eyre.

I am a lucky woman.

Subtitle: birthday addendum

The Big 3-0

2010-01-20T23:50:00.001-07:00

I always figured that I would be like my mother and age gracefully, not giving much concern to the meaninglessness of numbers as they slipped by. But as I found myself approaching thirty, I realized that I was a creature of a different flavor. I don't think it would be accurate to use the words "freaking out," but "slightly bother and concerned" seem appropriate. But as I reflected on it, most people do eventually turn 30; most people in the world already have, and really it is much more tragic to NOT hit that milestone.

Also, it helps if when that birthday appears you have a special fella in your life.

After bringing it up in a what-shall-I-do-for-my-birthday brainstorming session, I was surprised and pleased when Michael volunteered to take a day off of work and spend it with me in Las Vegas.

Since I always like to blog report about how I spend my birthdays (see 28 here and 29 here) I have prepared a "Top 11" list about my favorite things about my Vegas birthday vacation.

1. My birthday dress

Upon arriving in Vegas one of the first things we did was take a picture of us by the famous "Welcome to Fabulour Las Vegas" sign.
When we got back in the car and I looked at the picture, I was shocked by the sheer, blantant loudness of my dress. I had seen in a store several days earlier and knew that it had to be mine to be worn on my 30th birthday. I tried in on in the store to make sure it fit, but wasn't paying attention to the colors. And since I didn't have a full-length mirror in my house at that point, I had not actually seen myself in the full get-up. I still love the dress, but was surprised to see just how bold it was.
(Michael has since personally seen to it that I have a full-length mirror in my house.)

2. This response from every single person who heard we were going (including, I believe, Michael's mother): "Are you eloping?"

It made me laugh.

3. Staying with the Stays

I will confess that when I first planned the trip to Vegas, I thought of my wonderful ex-New York roommate Megan as an afterthought. I felt guilty using her for a free place to stay in her her brand new and totally gorgeous house in Henderson. But after a reassuring "get your butt down here and stay in my house" email, I felt okay about it. And seeing Megan and her husband Luke turned out to be a major highlight. She even baked me a birthday cake!
(Megan, if you're reading this, please know that I have written you a lovely thank you note, but I haven't been able to send it yet because all my stamps got lost in the move. I'll get that out soon. Please feel appreciated.)

4. After only 3 or 4 hours of driving from our snow-encrusted homes we arrived in St. George where it was so nice and sunnyshiney and warm we were able to eat our lunch outside. (Michael looks unhappy here, but he's not. It's just because the sun is in his eyes. There was seriously THAT MUCH sun.)

5. The Stratosphere.

Since we were a couple of wild and crazy people with disponsible incomes and no small children we decided to live dangerous and buy the all-access tickets to the thrill rides on top of the Stratosphere. For the sake of brevity, I will not go into detail here, except to say that when you're on the elevator ride on the top of the Stratosphere it is impossible to be anywhere higher on a building west of the Mississippi.

6. There was a yummy hole-in-the-wall Mexican place where we ate dinner both nights we were there. I love me some good Mexican food.

7. Falling asleep in the car to the sound of my man singing along to Garth Brooks.

In his online post where I first became of his existence, Michael caught my attention by saying that he was musically "a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll" but this was the first indication I had had of that fact. It was was a really pleasant, memorable moment.

8. At the end of a hectic, action-packed, and throughly exhausting second day, by sheer happenstance (AKA divine intervention) we walked in front of the Bellagio hotel's famous water show at exactly the moment they were starting The Hallelujiah Chorus. It was awesome and made me glad that everything that entire day (even my car window breaking) had perfectly lead us up to that point. It was especially nice having just seen Michael perform that piece several days earlier.
(
this video courtesy of youtube)

9. Hoover Dam

We decided to fork out the $30 each and go into the belly of the beast. It was worth it. Even before we went inside, it took my breath away. And I"m not even an engineer.

Turbines in the power plant. Very cool.

Us on the inside

The view from inside

This box cracked me the heck up. I'm not sure why.

And of course the highlight of any trip to any dam is the great excuse for all the dam jokes. You know the drill: "My dam boyfriend and I took a dam tour. We had a dam good time. The dam traffic was pretty bad though." After several hours of peppering "dam" in front of just about every noun I said, I asked Michael, "What? Don't you like making dam jokes?" To which he replied that he would like to, but I was too quick with all of them.

10. On the way home we stopped in southern Utah to visit Michael's cousin who was staying with her in-laws. A quick stop-by turned into a three hour political discuss with her Obama-supporting mother-in-law. I was surprised by how calmly and reasonably Michael discussed this topic that he is very passionate about. But I must confess after about two and a half hours, my patience for tranquility wore thin, the gloves came off a tiny bit and Michael had to politely pull me off the woman and drag me to the door. (Don't worry, I made nice with her before we left.) I wouldn't have guessed I would be the one to start being a bit aggressive in that situation.

11. All the crazy, random things that are Vegas

My man looks a lot like Harrison Ford, don't you think?

My favorite sage made a visit in honor of my special day

Whoopie was there too

Totally shutting down Rocky Balboa

All told, it was a super great birthday. And I'm excited to be 30, flirty, and fabulous.

A Little of This, A Little of That

2010-01-18T22:09:00.003-07:00

Since today is the one month anniverary of my birthday, I was determined to blog report about my trip to Las Vegas, but I just don't feel like it. So instead I"m going to share some other random going-ons from my life.

*I would never have guessed that something like this would happen to me, but it seems that Rexburg, Idaho has become a premiere vacation destination for me. Since arriving in Utah I have been there three times. While the very idea of this seems odd to my Manhattan sensibilities, I do have to say that it is a lovely spot. I was there this weekend and was liberated from my life-long misunderstanding that I don't like fish. Turns out I LOVE fish. Now I just have to convince Michael to go fishing more often (shouldn't be hard) and figure out how to cook them up so yummy myself (could be a bit more difficult)

* after five weeks in my new place (but only being home one of those weekends), I am happy to announce that I have finally hung up all my clothes and organized my underwear. This should make getting ready in the morning a fair shake easier. My bedroom is still a disater though. Good thing I sleep in the living room. (Just FYI, the kitchen has been done for weeks. I love love love love love love love having my own kitchen.)

* Upon arriving home from my Christmas trip to Michigan I realized that in five months since I left New York, I have driven across the country FIVE times. I've put more than 12,000 miles on my car the six months I've owned it and keep it mind that it was stolen for one of those months. I've decided that I"m ready to just be at home for a little while. At least that was the plan, but I was in Idaho last weekend and I'll be in Provo next weekend. Maybe in February I'll be able to have a little bit of time without traveling. But who am I kidding-- if a good offer comes up, I'll take it.

*I love my iPhone. I don't know what I'd do without it. I can't figure out how so many of you go about your day-to-day lives without one.

* Michael recently told me that he likes me more than his guns. If you know Michael (which I guess none of you do) you would understand that this was quite a compliment. (now that I think about it, he might have said gun singular, not guns plural. either way, i think this is a major development for him.)

*I used to be confused and slighly annoyed by people who hated snow. Now I understand. I"m sorry for being so hard-hearted before. Because now I know that its not just the snow, its the salt. Also, snow that stays on the ground for more than 3 days is just plain lame.

* In case you were wondering, my job is going great! I love it and I love my co-workers and I super love all the great stuff I"m learning. I feel so blessed in this aspect of my life. My new church congregation also seems really great.

An Admirable Girl

2009-12-29T08:30:00.011-07:00

(Explanation of title: My mother and little sister have become highly involved [the word "obsessed" was deleted by Sara during the editing stage of this post] with an Asian soap opera [I would expect this kind of behavior from my sister {who frequently watches international things online}, but was surprised that Mother {who doesn't even know how to comment on blogs] had also fallen prey} and apparently in this soap opera world the praise "an admirable girl" is doled out for young women who keep themselves busy, ie-- "she works and takes two classes. she's an admirable girl.") (too many parenthesis! was anyone else confused by that paragraph? I was. that's why I'm not editing it)

Since I'm home in Michigan again, I feel called upon to give another "trip down memory lane" report.

But before I tell you that story, let me tell you how Michael and I met. We met online after I'd succumbed to Facebook's advertising "Do you want to meet Mormon men?". When I finally decided "yes" and clicked on the advertisement, I searched for my ideal candidate and saw Michael and though he looked cute and liked that he was "a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll" and that he liked to hunt. So I sent him a brief email saying that I was also a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll and that, although I had never been hunting I supported the idea and even won an essay scholarship from the NRA in high school. I had no way of knowing at the time that no sentence could have more quickly and deeply endeared me to his heart. He sent me back an email saying (among other things) that I was on the fast track to getting on his good side. And the rest is history.

So while I was home, I thought it would be fun if I could find the essay I wrote, so I decided to go through my trunk in which is stored all the memories of the first 18 years of my life.

My goodness, I had no memory of being so busy!! My business is perhaps best illustrated by the fact that my mother says her main memory for me during this time was how frequently I would fall asleep behind the dining room table while working on homework and other projects. She was always a great support for me, as evidenced by the fact that during high school my after-school chore list typically included "take a nap." Bless her. (Also, she made me tell my boss at Pizza Hut that I could only work four days a week.)

I have very few memories of my life pre-college, but (as illustrated by the items in my trunk) it turns out I was up to all sorts of exciting, important, and/or time-consuming activities.

For example, did you know that I was a paper girl for four years? I had completely forgotten. And yet, every day of my life (except Saturday) fifth grade through eighth, I made sure the papers were out by 5:30. And, if the delivery bag I used is to be believed, I even earned the title "Honor Carrier." Good thing I held on to it.

Apparently, I was very involved in Speech competitions. I remember that my friend Jamie and I formed a Speech and Debate team at our high school just so that we could be co-captains (also, I believe we were the only members). But I had forgotten that I also competed in middle school (where there was already a team established). In my trunk I found several of the judges' reviews and I got a kick that over the approximately seven years I was competing, most of the reviews were exactly the same: "Good expression and diction. SLOW DOWN!!!"

And speaking of Jamie, I found a folder full of poetry we (or mostly she) had written on a field trip once. We went through quite a poetry-writing stage in middle school and if the sample I currently have in my possession is accurate, the re-occurring theme in our work was to somehow including the word "Moo" in every piece. While our infamous five part series "The Brady Brunch Massacre" is still missing, I am happy to have found these originals. Although, I must say they are not a sample of her/our best work. The good ones were all committed to memory decades ago. I have decided to share one of the ones I store in my head

Ode to Glue
(Sung to the tune of "Home on the Range")
By Dr. Jamie S., chief resident of Pediatrics at the 3rd best children's hospital in the US (in her pre-MD life)

Oh give me some glue
With a wrapper that's blue
And a nozzle that's awfully big
If you give me glue,
Then I will thank you
'Cause glue's made of horses, not pigs.

Glue, glue, glue, glue, glue
The cow on the wrapper says "Moo"
If you don't give me glue
I don't know what I'll do.
So please, please, please, please give me glue.

(Jamie, do you want me to send you these originals? They include "Druggies on the Street", "Ode to Buddy," and "Bus Seats, subtitle The Seats on the Bus".)

Just because people like pictures, I've decided to include one of me and Jamie earlier this year while I was visiting her in St. Louis. No review of the first 18 years of my life would be complete without her.

Also, in high school I was a scripture mastery diva. (I use the word "diva" on purpose, wanting to include all the snobbery and attention-seeking that is usually involved with the word.) At the conclusion of every school/seminary year, Sister Goldman would van us down to Louisville to compete in the Multi-regional Scripture Chase Smackdown (not official title) where we would be tested on our academic scripture prowess again seminary students from four states. Since this is my blog, I"m going to go ahead and tell you people that I kicked butt every year. Need proof? These are journals I won every year. One year one of the Hardie boys (I can't remember which one) tied with me for first place. I still haven't quite forgiven him, which ever one he was.

In high school, I was SO proud to have earned a letterman jacket. I bought one, but for some reason never got around to sewing on the letters I had earned, so I never wore it. But I think one time I decided to wear it to a football game, so I pined one of the letters one and that's how I found it in my trunk. The other letters were nearby, but still not attached. I think I"m probably at the stage of my life where I can start wearing my high school letter jack in an ironic way, but I don't want to have to deal with another coat (I already own about 6 and I never wear any of them).

In middle school and high school I started my obsession with the theatre. Unfortunely, in my little town in southern Indiana it was a three hour drive to any theatre that got the good traveling shows. Fortunately, I had an awesome big brother (with a driver's license) who was also interested in shows and so we would go together. That was always a highlight in my small-town girl life. Apparently, so much a highlight that I kept the newspaper advertisements in addition to just the playbills. This trip through the trunk, I decided to throw the newspaper clippings away.

In my trunk, I also found an old friend. In our family, my cabbage patch kid Nelly is famous for being in more family photos than Sara as a baby.

Now that I've been through the trunk, I am dealing with all sorts of important life questions. Will I ever need my high school diploma, or should I throw it away? Will I ever have to prove to anyone that I did, indeed, earn my Mia Maid medallion? What should I do with these medallions-- perhaps a charm bracelet? Is it petty for me to keep the dress I wore to high school graduation and my favorite jeans from my senior year just so I can periodically put them on and see if they still fit? Why did I keep this fifth place ribbon? Is it gross that I still have the cast from when I broke my fingers playing basketball when I was 14? These are the questions that currently plague my existence.

In conclusion, I did NOT find my NRA essay, but I did "find myself." Also, the plaque the NRA gave me at their Christmas Banquet that year where I was their honored guest. (I had forgotten about that.) (please note that the "Third Place" was for the entire state of Indiana. and I don't think I need to remind you that guns are important there.)

Why My Life Is Awesome

2009-12-12T00:10:00.007-07:00

Can you believe it's been one month since my last post? Crazy! Well, a lot has happened in that time to turn my life from being "totally awesome" into "practically perfect in every way." I will tell you about them in the order in which they came into my life.

1. The Perfect Boyfriend

A lot of you have heard about my new fella. Yes, Michael and I decided to become exclusive this month. This is the only picture I have of the two of us together. We are ice skating at his office Christmas party:

Now to satiate your curiosity, I will answer the most commonly asked questions about him and our relationship. But be warned-- I am only writing the answers, you will have to figure out the questions yourself.

Online. Manufacturing engineer. 6"2'. Sacramento. Yes, in Ecuador. 31. No, he's never been married. Yes, that is old for a Mormon-- at least in Utah. Not anytime too soon--neither of us want to feel rushed. Yes Dad, he makes me happy and takes very good care of me.

2. The Perfect Job

I have accepted a position at a wonderful for-profit private school based on the philosophies of Ayn Rand-- a match made in heaven for me. They teach children to be clear-minded, self-sufficient, independent-thinking conceptual thinkers. I am totally impressed by their program and love being a part of it. I was hired as a jack-of-all trades so I can learn all about the different aspects of the school and become sufficiently indoctrinated without being pigeon-holed into one career path. From there, they will see which direction they want to promote me.

I had my second interview with them on Monday. I taught preschoolers about deer and 3rd graders about the Wright Brothers. They offered me the job immediately thereafter and asked me to start the next day. I told the headmaster (yes, we have one) I'd have to think about it for a few hours, but since it was exactly the job I had my heart set on, it was an easy decision.

Since accepting the position, I have had to cancel three other interviews and refuse to schedule two others that were offered.

Also with this job, I get two weeks off from Christmas and don't have to work during the summer unless I want to.

3. The Perfect House

My first commute the 25 minutes to work came the morning after a huge snow storm. The highways had not been plowed. I came within 6 inches of having a head-on collision on I-15 (not my fault). Even though I was lucky because there is considerably less traffic commuting out of Salt Lake than in, I was still 30 minutes late to work on my first day and my nerves were fried. I decided that I would NOT be doing that all winter and I would just have to move to Sandy (which, conveniently enough, is also where Michael lives, although this was NOT the reason for the move. seriously--weren't you paying attention?!! I was almost killed commuting!).

After two days of searching I was blessed to procure for myself the MOST PRECIOUS tiny little cottage in Draper 4 miles from my work. Please notice the ivy climbing up the walls:

It is very small (600 square feet) but is completely sufficient for my needs. Since it's tiny it will be cheap to heat. It is on a beautiful road with grand old houses with Christmas lights. It feels and sounds like the country even though it is not far from Draper Parkway. The yard area is huge and there's even a place for a garden that is irrigated! There's a washer and dryer. I only pay for power and gas. I can paint and the landlord will even pay for it! The bedroom closet is twice as big as my current one. It's only two miles from the Draper temple. Starting in February, I will have my own garage to park in and store stuff! And it is ALL MINE!!

As much as I like having roommates, I am so so so excited to have my own place!! ALL the food in the refrigerator will be mine! I can keep as much stuff as I want in the freezer! I can have fresh garlic AND the jarred stuff! I will not feel guilty for leaving my dishes! I can walk around in my underwear! I can play music whenever I want! I will always have the best parking space! I won't have to coordinate with anyone regarding when I can be in the shower!

I am going to have so much fun decorating and turning it into my perfect little home.

Yes indeed, life is good.

Productivity

2009-11-13T15:57:00.004-07:00

After three months, I think I have come to the end of the "fun" in my "funemployment." Now I am trying to focus more on being productive and finding a job.

After a day of fasting and praying to be more productive and make better use of my time, I had an epiphany. Like so many of the epiphanies that I bother recording on my blog, this one also had to do with the arrangement of my room. It occurred to me that two pieces of furniture needed to be switched. And I did it and it has made ALL the difference in the world, once again forcing me to ask the question, "What do people without divine intervention do with themselves?"

So now my desk is in a much much much better place where I can easily access it and it doesn't collect junk. It is sort of the focal point of the room, which adds to my desire and ability to sit there and do productive things. (You may have already noticed the dramatic increase in the number of blog posts I've written.)

My roomie Ashley came in to chat with me the other day and was so amused by what she saw she suggested that she take a photo for my blog.
Yes, that is a heating pad attached to my neck with the tie from my Halloween costume. After much thought, I decided that this was the best option. And yes, my neck is feeling better now, thank you for asking.

Reflections on Business Attire

2009-11-11T23:08:00.004-07:00

I had my first interview today. It was technically a pre-interview skills screening, but all the same I donned my interview suit and put on my nylons (which I ONLY wear to job interviews). I put my hair back in a conservative low bun and looked at myself in the mirror. I always think the same thing: "BORING!!! How to men do this every day? What's the point of trying to look exactly like everyone else?" I do shake things up a bit because my suit is navy instead of black, even though my headhunter in NYC said I had to have a black one to get a job on Wall Street. She insisted my super cute brown herringbone suit was too "academic" and would not get the job done. I agreed to get a more professional one, but drew the line at black.

As I walked down the lobby towards the elevator in the downtown highrise building, I remembered how much I love the click-click-click sound high heels make on the nice marble floors of corporate buildings. And i did notice how silky and sexy the nylons felt. I laughed and laughed that I didn't have to sign in with security to get in the building, and that the receptionist didn't have to buzz me into the office through beautiful, but bullet-proof glass. And the breathtaking view from the office was the mountains instead of Trinity church, world-famous skyscrapers and sailboats on the Hudson (oh, I really do miss the sailboats). But the mountains were beautiful. And unlike my beloved Wall Street law firm, no one here was wearing jeans or polos. Although the other lady taking the skills test with me was wearing knit pants. I was glad I busted out the boring suit.

By the time I caught a reflection of myself in the full-wall mirrors in the gold-plated elevator on the way back to my car after the skills test, my attitude must have changed. I saw myself and I thought: "Dang! I look GOOD."

Apparently I can totally rock the business professional look. Not that I would want to every day.

In conclusion, I will just add that despite my 18 months as a favorite employee at a multi-million dollar Wall Street law firm, I was totally not qualified for that job.

C'est la vie.

PS Also, our elevators were faster.

New Post

2009-11-10T13:34:00.003-07:00

I feel like my last post was a bit on the "Negative Nelly" side, so I want to clear some things up.

First, it's not that I'm opposed to being in Utah, it's just that I was so very very fond of being in New York and it was sad to see my last tie severed. People who live in Manhattan tend to have that as a big part of their identify, so now I'm just learning to define myself on different terms. And let's just come out and say it-- living in Utah is a bit cliche, if you're not from here.

Second, I realized I very much like the motto on the license plate. The other one was old. This is the new one
"Life Elevated." I can get behind that. It is meaningful and inspiring on several different levels. I'm happy to bare that slogan on my car.

And so far I've only lost my car in the parking lot twice. And, obviously, I did eventually find it both times. It occurred to me that knowing what my plate number was would have been helpful. I should really look into that.

So, I"m sorry if I was seeming like a Debbie Downer. Please forgive me.

And There Was Weeping and Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth

2009-10-26T17:13:00.003-06:00

The state of New York cancelled my car's registration because I'm no longer insured in New York. The University of Utah looks at when you got your Utah driver's license in deciding whether or not you get in-state tuition. So I spent four hours today at two different branches of the DMV (because you can't get your license and registration at the same place).
I do not know HOW I am going to be able to find my car in a parking lot now.

Although I did keep the weeping and wailing to my inside, I do think that I might have gnashed my teeth a bit when they took my New York title from me and said they'd send me a new Utah one. I just don't think that was necessary.

It occurs to me that in the four months I have owned this car, it has had three different license plates. Four if you count the one from the previous owner that I drove it home in. And in the 13 years I've been a licensed driver, I have lived in 8 states and gotten licenses in 4 of them. This is the first time I've gotten a new license before the old one expired. And while I was/am super sad to sever these ties with New York, I remind myself that I will be saving several thousand dollars if I do decide to go to the U of U or if the police ever discovered my registration was null and void. C'est le vie.

Funny Things I've Come Across Lately

2009-10-20T21:59:00.003-06:00

Because it's my blog and I can post random meaningless stuff if I want to.

How to Be the Favorite Auntie

2009-10-19T23:04:00.008-06:00

Since being in Utah for 1.5 months I have NOT found a job. I have NOT taken the GMAT. I have NOT found a volunteer opportunity. I have NOT even painted my room.

But I HAVE become the favorite Auntie to my three nieces.

You may ask how I accomplished this in so short a time. For the benefit of my readers, I have broken my strategies into three easy steps:

1. Download a coloring app onto your iPhone
The nieces will be begging for it (and thus your attention) every time you're near.

Please note: be sure to turn off the sound during sacrament meeting.

2. One word: Birdie Flap Flap
This is a game my sister invented when I was a little girl. I have no idea how she did it, being only 6 years older than me. It is tiring enough with these tiny little girls!

3. My nieces take after their favorite auntie in regards to their love of dancing. I host a dance party very frequently when we get together. In this particular picture, I out did myself with the epiphany of a table-top dance party. (Like I always say, "train them up in the way they should go".) But usually our dance parties consist of us all dancing around on the floor together. (Note to readers: if you want to teach your three-year old niece that the secret to dancing is all in the hips, do not do it where the child's mother can hear you.)

How Office Life Has Ruined Me For Home Life

2009-10-19T14:15:00.003-06:00

Today I was baby-sitting for my niece at my sister's house when her phone rang:

Me: Lewis home. This is Holly. How can I help you?
Caller: I'm looking for Jason Lewis.
Me: I'm sorry, he's not in right now. Would you like to leave him a message?
Caller: Yes, please.
Me: Alright, you can leave that message with me.
Caller: I'm confirming his dentist appointment for tomorrow at 4.
Me: Okay. I will pass that on to him. Thank you for calling. Good-bye.

I realized I was being way too professional half way through the conversation, but I couldn't stop myself.

Time Capsule

2009-10-05T22:53:00.017-06:00

I'd imagine that you'd be interested in hearing tid bits about my fabulous new life out here in Salt Lake City. Well, I have been having all sorts of fun times and learning lots and having great experiences, but isn't it funny how when you have so much free time it seems like hardly anything gets done? Well, that is my situation and, as you can see, blogging has fallen to the wayside.

But I really did want to share this thought.

Last month, I set off on an unexpected last-minute trip to Michigan. While I could go on and on telling the tale of why I went, how cute my nieces are as traveling companions, and the adventures I had while there, instead I want to talk about my "bedroom" there.

It is the only place I've ever lived that has been preserved through the years just the way I left it. And more than that, it has become a sort-of symbol to me of my parents' love for me, of God's love for me and just of all-around goodness. This appreciation started about two visits ago. (I'm pretty sure it wasn't the last visit due the previously-mentioned run-in with a bat that caused me to sleep on the couch the whole time I was there). While sitting in my room I just felt overwhelmed with love and gratitude. I felt so thankful for the 1.5 years I spent there, grateful to God for guiding me there, and glad I listened to his promptings. But mostly I just so so soul-shakingly grateful to have a real, honest-to-goodness home. So many people don't, due to divorce or family craziness or the death or parents or various tragic things. But I am blessed enough to have a place where I am always welcomed with opened arms by parents who love me no matter what. A place where I love being. A place listed on my phone contact list as "Home."

And in addition to that, whenever I go to my "home" bedroom, if I'm so inclined I can go through my drawers and shelves for a lovely trip down memory lane. I want to share with you a few highlights.

This is a quilt my Young Woman's group cross-stitched for me when I graduated from high school. Talk about love! What a really nice, thoughtful thing to do for a person. And let me show you some close-ups so you can see how totally talented these people were and how much time they put into it:
(that last one was blurred, but I wanted to share it anyway)

I haven't taken this special quilt with me to any of my other homes because I don't have a place nice enough to keep it.

And speaking of special bedding, I always love seeing this much-loved, worn-out bedspread which my mom got for me special (from the catalog) when I was about 10 It warms the heart.

And here is my totally awesome alarm clock that I got for my 8th birthday, so I could wake myself up for school I love it!! (and please note, that I was up being productive at 6am)

While I was thus strolling down memory lane, I looked through my mission scrapbook and realized that my mission wasn't 100% heartache and self-disappointment-- there were fun times too

And I looked at some of my favorite mission souvenirs/recorditas/chachquees (sp?)

Oh man! I LOVED buying stuff on my mission!

But, it occurs to me, I love buying stuff where ever I go, and most of the souvenirs of my world travels are still at home in Michigan. Below is the instruction on a game I bought in China. Please enlarge and read-- it is one of the funnier examples of Engrish I've ever seen (esp. the last two sentences)

And this trip I decided to go through the clothes I left there. HELLO!! What inspired me to not take these with me to New York? I must have been sleep-deprived or something
Elmo socks
frog prince pajamas

Well, that concludes our stroll down memory lane for today.

Pictures not shown here include the tremendously ugly yellowish brown shirt that I loved sleeping in; the Impressionist calendar I bought as a junior in high school and turned into art which I hung on the wall everywhere I lived from 1995 to 2003 (I just counted--5 different places); and the three totally beautiful quilts my little sister made that are currently on my bed at home.

My Favorite Conversation of the Day

2009-09-11T03:15:00.003-06:00

Today I fulfilled a life goal of going to Ikea and staying as long as I wanted--no rental car to return, ferry to catch, or mandatory meeting to attend. Upon arriving home, I realized that I had accidentally shoplifted a rug (don't worry, I'll call tomorrow and make good). But that is not the point of this story. The point of this story is to share the conversation that happened immediately upon my returning home:

Me: Is Ashley home?
Roommate: No, I think she's still at the football game.
Me (with emotion bordering on horror): What?!!!! There was a game tonight?!!!!
Roommate: Yeah, the first NFL game of the year, I think.
Me: Oh!!! Thank goodness!!

Apparently, it had temporarily slipped my mind that teams other than BYU play football.

Go Cougs!!!!!

PS. I'm publishing this post from my iPhone in bed at 3:30am because I can't sleep because I'm so so so excited about my plans to decorate and organize my room/life. Thanks Valerie for all the ideas and inspirations.

First Day of the Rest of My Life

2009-09-09T14:44:00.008-06:00

I'm back in the "city" (ha ha ha) now, and my new life is going even better than I had hoped.

It turns out we have a totally awesome grapevine in full bloom in the backyard, so of course (since this is exactly the kind of thing I do now that I'm living it up country girl style), I decided to can grape juice. It was my first ever solo canning experience and it went GREAT!!

Grapes on the vine:

A close-up (can you even believe how perfectly beautiful they are?)--

There were lots and lots of grapes. Just to put things into perspective, this bowl when de-vined contained about four cups:

Here they are in the hot water bath. Luckily, a pressure cooker was not needed because, in addition to not having access to one, I am deathly afraid of them. I could only do three jars at a time, but it worked out pretty well. Thank goodness I decided to bring my trusty, much-loved stock pot with me to my new life.

And the glorious finished project:

There are so many people I'd like to thank:
Thank you Ashley for discovering the grapes.
Thank you Ashley's mom for giving me the jars.
Thank you Mom for being available throughout the day to answer questions.

And, just to make life even better, I was able to buy 12 more canning jars today, so I'll be able to make even more! Yippee for suburb living! Yipee for canning!!

Just call me Farmer Holly

2009-09-06T18:45:00.006-06:00

I've mentioned before that I have both a city girl and a country girl happily living inside me. The last few years, of course, I've spent more time developing my city girl side. I have often referred to my move to Salt Lake City as relocating "to the country" but I know that's not probably legitimate, so for Labor Day weekend I decided to bump it up a notch and try out real bona fide country life. So I trucked it up to an Idaho farm to visit my roommate Ashley's family who live on a real, working farm. And let me just say, a girl could get used to this. Allow me to share some highlights--

*this is how meal time goes--we spend maybe like 30 or 40 minutes in the garden and then we have four kinds of unbelievably yummy, just out of the garden veggies and fruit for dinner. (everyone had a good laugh when I was found looking for green beans to pick in the tops of the potatoes. I am such a city girl.)

*you maybe think you understand Idaho potatoes because you have procured them in the grocery store, but trust me on this one--you don't understand how tasty they are until you've had one fresh out of the garden.

* we had cooked carrots for dinner toight and I could not believe there was no sugar on them. they were SO stinkin' sweet. In a good way.

* this afternoon I laid in the grass for an hour and just listened to the wind blow. I also spent a while trying to get the horse to let me pet him, but that didn't work.

* Saturday morning there was a big excitement because Grandpa caught a corn-stealing raccoon in a trap. It was an vicious fellow, or at least he seemed that way when he was being poked with a stick. We woman folk felt bad about it, but Ashley's brother had to drown it. That's how life is here on the farm.

* they have NINE boxes of fresh super yummy peaches. I'm allowed to eat as many as I want.

*today for dinner, in addition to four kinds of veggies from the garden we had beef that was raised on their farm. I couldn't even believe how tasty it was.

* the grasshoppers here are fascinating. there are SOO many of them and they fly a little and they look just like butterflies when they do it.

* if it's not too windy tomorrow, we're going water skiing.

I could go on, but I won't. After just one evening here, I told Ashley "I can see why you didn't want to stay in Manhattan, if this was your other option." I think that just about sums it up.

Here and Now

2009-09-02T22:16:00.003-06:00

Did you realize that I had been living out of my car, adventuring across America for three weeks? I had no idea until right towards the end. No wonder everyone kept asking me "What? You're not in Utah yet?" No wonder people were getting on me about updating my blog. That also explains why I've run out of so many of my toiletries while I've been on the road. I didn't realize I'd been gone so long until I was thinking one day: "I've never been away from New York City more than two weeks. I bet it will be hard when I hit the two week point." I did the math in my head to find out when that would be and realized it had been four days earlier.

Well, time flies when you're having fun.

But the epic cross-country trek has ended. I'll probably write about it later. For now I just want to report that yesterday I arrived safe and sound in my new place in Salt Lake City. I don't have a bed yet, so like any good suburbanite, I slept in the grass in the back yard. (photo taken and edited by my new roomie Ashley, who is a graphic designer who knows who to do fancy things with digital photos. You can see her sleeping bag on the futon.)

I'll report more on my new life and my most recent adventure later. For now, I will just report: so far, so good.

Back to Suburbia

2009-08-13T00:45:00.008-06:00

I arrived at my parents house in Michigan around midnight. As always, Mom had made me a sign.

**My mom and I sat alone on our private back patio for a while and watched a meteor shower. We saw 3 super incredible awesome ones.

**I discovered/remembered that I own a super awesome retro Schwinn bike. In suburbia, you have so much storage space that you can easily forget owning even such a major thing as a bicycle. (When I lived here before, my dad heard me say that I wanted a bike, so he got me one at a garage sale--wasn't that nice? But then the tires got flat and I couldn't figure out how to change them and then I forgot about it.)

**I tried to remember the last time I was in a house with central air-conditioning and I THINK it must have been when I was at home last summer. (I'd been in homes that had AC more recently than that, but I decided winter didn't count.) Then I realized that the air probably isn't on because this is Michigan and it's 61 degrees outside.

**Eventually I retired to my quarters in the basement. I do not believe that a mouse or cockroach ever struck the terror into my heart that I felt upon discovering that there was a bat (or some sort of dark, mysterious, ominous-looking flying creature) trapped down there and flying around like a crazed rabies-spreading disaster. This was my first ever close encounter with a bat (or other dark, mysterious, ominous-looking flying creature) and although I am very fond of throwing around the fact that more people are killed every year by their pets than have been killed by bats in recorded history, I don't mind telling you that I made like a military man and full-on belly crawled out of the basement, whimpering like I was in a war zone.

Things like this only happen in suburbia.

Nice Rack

2009-08-13T00:40:00.006-06:00

Partially because of my long-held secret jealousy of all the cool people who drive down the highway with bikes on their cars, I decided to buy a rack and transport my bike to Utah in my car along with the rest of my earthly possession.

And if you think I'm too mature and sophisticated to spend the entire day making jokes about my "great rack", then you are 100% wrong.

The New York Lists

2009-08-07T14:26:00.004-06:00

My native New Yorker co-workers think it's SOOOO funny that I didn't know that "NO STANDING" actually means "NO PARKING." I mean, comparable to the Dead Dog Story funny. It amuses them to no end. I don't quite understand why they are just so amused by it, but it does bring to mind the first item on the below list:

Things I Will Miss About New York City:

1. any social gaff or faux paus can easily be explained away with a coy smile and the simple statement "I'm from Indiana." I'm pretty sure that will hold NO weight in Utah. But, on the other hand, there will probably be significantly fewer opportunities to expose my ignorance there.

2. This may be vain and politically incorrect, but I love walking around in my neighborhood and being so, shall we say, "verbally adored." Being blonde doesn't garnish much attention in Utah. White guys don't tell you that you're beautiful, just because they see you walking down the street and they think it.

3. Nine JCrews, 14 Banana Republics, 4 Esprits, 8 Ann Taylor Lofts, 3 Anthropologies, 10 H&Ms. (Did I ever tell you about December 26, 2006? I managed to work ten hours and still hit the after-Christmas sales at 4 different JCrews. Where else in the world could you pull that off?)

4. The lovely social aspect of the subway system in two ways: 1. really, truly being amidst and among your fellow city-dwellers, 2: it extends most social events--you ride there with your friends and then ride the subway together back home. Your event doesn't begin and end in the parking lot, but you spend your travel time with your people too.

5. Driving back into the city from anywhere. Seriously, the city skyline takes my breath away every single time.

6. People selling fruit on just about every street corner.

7. Being surrounded by water on all sides. It is so so so lovely to drive down the highways that run on either side of the island. I LOVE the views of the Hudson and of the Harbor from my office too. And, of course, we're close to the beach.

8. Thinking/praying/meditating/studying time on the subway.

9. Being one subway ride away from just about anything you could possibly think of.

10. Rooftop dance parties.

11. Any little patch of green anywhere is beautifully landscaped and perfectly manicured. there are small little parks everywhere and the big parks are the most beautiful ones in the whole country.

12. Need I mention Broadway, ballet, opera, and Gray's Papaya hot dogs? (yes, they DO belong in a category together)

13. Free concerts somewhere every single day.

14. Walking around looking at the beautiful buildings and things.

15. Being surrounded by the type of people who want to live in New York City.

16. The hussle and bussel and wonderfulness of it all.

17. Flying to Europe takes the same amount of time as flying to LA.

18. Even if I have a non-prestigious job, I am accounted a success just because I live in Manhattan.

19. Did I tell you about the time I saw Keanu Reeves on the subway? No? That's because that sort of stuff happens all the time and isn't worth reporting

20. Subway dancers

Now, just to be fair and objective:

Things I Will NOT Miss About New York City:

1. Dealing with mice and cockroaches

2. Waiting and waiting for the subway to come on the weekend or late at night when they're on weird schedules and I'm sooo thirsty and soo tired and just want to BE HOME ALREADY.

3. Having to carry anything I want to eat or use (potatoes, watermelon, toilet paper, furniture) up the four flights of stairs to my apartment.

4. Feeling like it's a little miracle every time my car is still there where I left it and without a ticket.

5. Not being able to have a white comforter on my bed because it's by a window that I keep open and it will turn gray in two days.

6. As lovely as only paying $89/month for all my travel expenses (and I don't even pay for it--my work does), getting places on the subway does take a lot of time. So something like a trip to Home Depot or Target will take up 100% of your free time for an evening.

7. Don't believe it when they say it's the city that never sleeps--it will take you at least 45 minutes to get to a store open after 10pm. I mean, those stores exist, but there aren't too many of them, so you'll have to take the subway and if it's after 10pm, the subways aren't running as often. Give me one good 24 hour grocery store any day (and even my little hometown in Indiana has several)

8. It is an unbelievable hassle to get to the airport, especially if you have more than one bag. On multiple occasions getting from the airport to my home has taken more time than my entire flight.

9. Even the most simple weekend get-away requires renting a car which makes it hard to plan and expensive. So even though we're surrounded by really beautiful nature areas, I have only been camping 2 or 3 times the three years I've lived here.

10. Being a Republican in Utah is going to be boring.

And yet, when all is said and done, I will miss Manhattan so much. Even though I'm excited for my upcoming adventures, I am so so so sad to leave. But I am sure it is all going to be for the best.

The Car Report, Part II

2009-08-05T08:23:00.004-06:00

On the morning of June 29, 2009 when I noticed my car was missing, I felt right away that everything was going to be okay.

When I learned that through some sort of miracle, I had insurance that would cover the theft, I thought "Oh! This is it! Everything IS fine!"

When my insurance company's three week waiting period was over and they told me how much they were going to pay for my car and I realized that even with the $1000 deductible, I was going to turn a profit on the whole ordeal, I thought "Oh Wow! Everything really IS okay!"

And when the police called me on Tuesday August 4th and told me that my car had been recovered in perfect condition I thought "The insurance was just a red herring! Everything really is fine. I wouldn't have seen this coming."

A quick "what the heck?!" explanation: For all intents and purposes, my car had been stolen by a towing company. They towed my car (signs that read "No Standing" should be understood to mean "No Parking") but they (the tow-ers) did NOT enter it in the "towed car" database and did not attempt to contact the car owner. My car sat in the impound garage for a month before they noticed no one had to come to pick it up. When they ran the plates to find the owner, it came up as stolen, so they gave me a jingle.

The first thing I did after the call was go to the impound to check on my car. It really was in perfect condition. Figuring out how to get the car out of the click proved to be much more difficult. After two days of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, I hatched a plan on how to illegally break it out of the impound. Marcus agreed to help (I was maybe not forthcoming with him that my plan wasn't technically legal). After my endless hours on the phone with various state and local departments who were of NO HELP WHATSOEVER, you can imagine my surprise when the lady working at the impound lot knew exactly what I needed to do and it was a process that took less than an hour. You'd better believe I brought her cookies when I came to pick up my 100% legally legit car. Thank you Impound Security Lady!

As I drove home, I had this realization: I had made a legitimate parking error. If they had put my car in towed car registry (as they were legally obligated to do), I would have had to pay the $200 towing fee. Then I would have had to worry about parking the car every night. And I would have had to pay the $150 for insurance for the month of July. So, minus the mental exhaustion of trying to get the car back after it was recovered, having my car "stolen" turned out to be a WINNING experience for me. How CRAZY is that?!!

And it occurred to me: "The WHOLE time everything really was 100% okay. God had this plan that I couldn't have even comprehended." Wow! Plus, the arrived home just exactly when I needed it-- the day before I had to start moving out of my apartment and just in time to answer the prayers of a much-worried ward activities committee who didn't have enough rental van to get everyone to a river rafting activity. I am very very thankful that God gave me the "everything is okay" prompting and that I was able to hear it even in what could have been a frantic situation. And I'm so glad I was able to stick with that feeling of peace and hope throughout the ordeal.

Funny story:
Once I finally got my plates, Marcus (who, I'm going to add here is my hero) asked if I wanted him to come help me get the old plates off and the new ones on. The impound lot is a pretty out-of-the way place, so I said, "Marcus, I love accepting help from you, but I can handle replacing plates by myself." (Although I did accept his mini-tool-kit-thingie.) I was totally wrong--I could not to save my life get the front plates off. I even cut my finger fairly badly trying. I finally had to just pull on the plate enough to make the holes big enough that I could slip it off. Then when I took the car to get the safety and emissions test immediately after, the fellow there put the new one on for me. He didn't seem to have any sort of problem with it. Sheesh.

Seriously, do you know anyone who is more blessed than me?

At that point, the only thing that hadn't worked out 100% perfectly was the fact that I had committed to drive someone else's car across the country. BUT after fasting and prayer, last Sunday another person was found to drive the other car, so now I am free. I was worried about that one, but I figured God had a plan-- someone out there must have been looking for a car to drive across the country and, sure enough, God helped us cross paths with that person and now everyone's prayers have been answered.

Sometimes God's goodness and wisdom just blows my mind.

Work Will Be a Vacation

2009-07-30T18:59:00.006-06:00

Today I arrived at a friend's house to drop off some stuff. She took a look at me and said, "You're sunburned!" I thought about this and realized two things: 1. that would explain why my neck has been hurting and 2. that gives some credibility to the vague feeling I've been having that I've done nothing for the past three days except walk in the hot, humid sun to various places entirely too far from a subway stop where I don't really want to be anyway.

Last Wednesday, with only 13 scheduled work days left before I leave for my new life, I realized that my firm doesn't pay for vacation and personal days that weren't used. Since my replacement was already fully trained, and since my hording tendencies provided me with 5 unused days, I decided to take this week off. My plan was to spend some quality bonding time with the city I love and have plenty of time to pack.

As Day 4 of my vacation is coming to a close, I can report that I have not done a fun thing yet. What have I been busy doing? That is a story for another day. But I will say this--for the first time in my life, the following has been happening to me 3-4 times a day: I"m going about my business (probably walking somewhere in the sun) when all the sudden I feel super hungry. I say to myself: "Why am I hungry?!! I JUST ate!!" Then I stop,thinking for a bit, do some counting on my fingers, and realize it's been 4-5 hours since I'd eaten anything. Then I'm annoyed by the fact that I have to do it. But, I very much want to avoid another episode of Wednesday's Full Blown Emotional Breakdown, so I eat. And nap when necessary. But mostly run from place to place trying to get things done and field phone calls and e-mails, which, by the way, I can check while I'm out and about because I finally took the leap and got myself an iPhone! It's only been 48 hours, but already I can't imagine my life without one. I will say nothing else because my words cannot do justice. But, for comparison's sake, I am now going to post a picture of the cell phone that I had been using before. Yes, that is tape holding it together. It has been there for about three months. It was time to move on. Which, as I type this I realize for the first time is very symbolic. My phone is moving on (and up) and I'm moving on and up. And, as much as I spent thinking about it before, it is even more wonderful than I'd hoped.

A little of this, a little of that

2009-07-21T22:54:00.007-06:00

1. As I am working on de-junking my apartment I discover I have three decks of Uno and two of Phase Ten. I don't think I've played Uno the entire three years I've lived here. And why do I have three opened jars of jam? I'd like to think I'm a bit more organized with my food.

2. I cannot, for the life of me, get a countdown timer on my blog. This has been a source of much frustration for me. Everyone else makes it look so easy!

3. Sunday I went to church and taught Relief Society. Wearing two different shoes. I didn't notice until the closing hymn. Those who did notice during my lesson thought I was going to tie it in as an object lesson at the end. Good idea--I might try to work that in some other time.

4. I MIGHT have just done laundry for the last time in New York. Oh happy day.

5. This is my favorite thing someone asked me recently: "Other than generally following your bliss, what are your plans for Utah?"

6. I think I'm going to take all the light bulbs with me when I leave. They're the $3 kind that last for years and years and use like 1/10 of the energy. I bought them, so it's not petty to take them, right?

7. I stink at frisbee. Just fyi.
I could put 4 more pictures just like that one, but I will refrain.

8. My "regular" roommates have both moved out and I have two very lovely subletters until the end of the month. Funny stories: I made lentil soup and asked if they wanted some. They each replied, "What's a lentil?". They both are great at doing their dishes, but one of them washes her dishes and then puts them back in the sink. I think that is so funny (funny "ha ha" just to clarify). It amuses me how things are done differently in different families and you go out into the world thinking this is normal. (Said roommate just turned 16.)

9. Last night I saw West Side Story (it was great!) and afterward we wandered around looking some sort of dessert. My date recommended we sit in a small park to eat, but asked if I would get too cold. I decided I would be fine and then had this realization: It is July 23rd and we don't know if we can eat in the park because it might be too cold? What a weird summer.

10. Yesterday I discovered that my firm doesn't pay for unused vacation days, which means I get to take all of next week off!! Then one week of work and then off to my new life!

I think Jane Eyre said it best

2009-07-17T08:27:00.004-06:00

Subtitle: Apparently some people haven't heard yet.

I am typically a very at-peace person. Whenever I feel a little disturbance in my internal serenity, I know that something is wrong. I consult with Heavenly Father and we typically figure it out in short-order, I do something about it, and then I feel better. It's a quick and simple process that I very much appreciate.

So you can imagine my surprise when several months ago I had a week-long bout of anxiety that I could not figure out. After several days of dealing with this and no answers as to why, I was sitting in the temple one morning after my shift and the prompting came to me: "Maybe it's time to start thinking about leaving New York." I didn't like that idea so I brushed it off. I had no intention of moving, but just for fun I started thinking of where I would go if I did leave. I thought it over for a while because it is fun and liberating to realize that I could live ANYWHERE IN THE WHOLE WORLD that I wanted. And even with all the exciting possibilities, it didn't take me long to realize that if I were to live anywhere other than Manhattan (which I had no intention of doing), I would live in Salt Lake City. I know, it's boring, but I would be closer to two of my sisters, my three nieces, and all sorts of friends from various stages of my life. Because, really, I could move to Scotland or West Africa or Shanghai or Nebraska, but what's the point if I'm not surrounded by people I love? But I could not bear the idea of leaving New York. It's like Mr. Rochester said: "it is as if I had a string somewhere under my rib, tightly knotted to a similar string in your frame, and if that distance came between us that cord will be snapped and then I should take to bleeding inwardly."

The next morning I woke up and was feeling more emotionally uneasy than ever. I decided to call my home teacher Bryan and ask for a blessing. The blessing was very lovely and didn't tell me what to do, but did say things like "you will be able to maintain the friendships that you established in New York" and "your work will be understanding about your decision." I realized that God was, obviously, leaving the decision up to me but that He thought it was time for me to move on.

I spent most of the next day (Saturday, fortunately) in bed mourning. Several lines from Jane Eyre kept going through my mind. Most notably "I see the necessity of leaving you, and it's like looking upon the necessity of death." Extreme, I know, but I could definitely see where she was coming from.

Eventually this clarifying point came to me: I really really really love New York. And New York has been SO good to me. But, fundamentally, New York is an inanimate object that is incapable of loving me back. And in the choice between a place I love and people I love, I will choose to be near the people.

After that insight, I did feel better about the idea of moving, although still sad. That was the end of April, so I've had awhile to get use to it. (Although I did not make public my decision until June.) My sadness to excitement ratio has been steadily moving towards "excitement" during that time. I will be living with two of my favorite friends (and two random but supposedly very agreeable girls) in a totally awesome house. And, at points, it has seemed to me that New York City no longer sings joy to my heart the way it used to. I'm ready for a new adventure. I'm going to learn to ski (snow AND water), take up tennis, spend more time hiking and camping, have a garden (!!!!), and just generally do an all-around better job of grabbing life by the horns.

It is interesting that three years ago when I was trying to decide where to move, I had my options narrowed down to New York City or Utah but realized that moving to Utah would be the "safe option" and I did not want to make a decision just because it was safe, so I decided (thank goodness!) to take the risk and move to Manhattan. As I made the decision this time, it occurred to me that the tables have turned and now the decision to stay in New York was "safe" and the decision to move to Utah was risky and adventurous. Life is funny sometimes.

As I get closer to my departure date (only three weeks!!!) I'm getting sad again. I am so so so thankful that I got to spend three years here. I've wanted to live in Manhattan since I was around 13, but I never thought I actually would. I have loved my time here so unbelievably much. I have learned and grown and changed in ways I wouldn't have imagined. BUT I know that Heavenly Father is leading me to something even better. And He and I together will create a great life for me wherever we go.

Everything Is Beautiful at the Ballet

2009-07-12T22:01:00.001-06:00

I'm not sure as to the how, why, or when, but lately the idea has come to me that I am a big, big fan of the ballet and just never knew it. So, I decided to test my hypothesis with a trip to the America Ballet Theatre's Production of Prokofiev's Romeo and Juliet. It turns out (and I love when I can say this)I was right! I do love the ballet.

Why, oh why, could I have not discovered this earlier?

It turns out that every night of a ballet performance has different people dancing the leads (in ballet terms "principle"), so every show is a little different even though the choreography is the same. The fellow I stood next to for the first act (after that, I moved from my standing room ticket that I paid $26 for to the seats directly in front of me which sale for $103) had seen the performance three times! And it only ran for one week. (The week the ABT was doing Giselle, he saw every single show!) I could have done that. Oh well.

I love when I discover another one of the beautiful things about life. So many things to be thankful for!

Harry Potter 7, take 2

2009-07-12T20:56:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite New York City memories is the subway after the midnight release of Harry Potter 7. It was around 1:30 or 2 when I went into the station and I loved that every single person there was reading it.

I myself was determined to read the entire thing before any spoilers were printed. To that end, I stayed up for about 20 hours straight and read the whole thing in pretty much one sitting.

At this point, I will explain that my addictive personality manifests itself in full force when it comes to books. You may be aware of how I can get obsessive even with bad literature, so you can imagine my over-reaction to good literature (seriously, don't even get me started on my love for Uncle Tom's Cabin). With this in mind, several years ago I have set for myself a "only one time through" rule for Harry Potter. I just get too, too, too excited.

That said, I was disappointed with Death Hallows. It just didn't move me the way I expected it to. Other people seemed to love it a lot, but it just didn't elicit a strong emotional response from me. Which surprised me, especially since everyone else I talked to about it said it was the best one yet. (as a side note, my favorite was probably #3-- I almost beat myself to death with the book because of the suspense at the end.)

Friday night, in preparation for the upcoming release of movie #6, I went to a Potter-themed party to watch #5. The next morning, I was trying to remember who had died at the end of book 7 and I couldn't remember so I got out my copy and started looking. I read one paragraph and was instantly sucked in. Despite my once-through rule, I found myself re-reading the last 150 pages. And it was really really really good. I kept thinking "this is the best book ever!! No wonder everyone loved it!!" I was touched, moved, distraught, uplifted, overwhelmed and inspired (sometimes simultaneously), and eventually--emotionally satisfied.

Let this be a lesson to me: I cannot emotionally appreciate a book when sleep-deprived. I will not make that mistake again!

PS Right after finishing this post, I found this on PostSecrets

The Car Report

2009-07-08T09:19:00.006-06:00

Tuesday 16 June: I decide I want to buy a car and recruit Marcus, my go-to guy for all things involving wheels, to help.

Thursday 18 June: after a discouraging trip to a shady car dealership in Jersey, Marcus and I set an intention for exactly what we wanted: a 4-door Honda Civic with automatic transmission made between 1998 and 2003 with low miles and within my budget.

Friday 19 June: first thing in the morning, Marcus finds on-line the exact car we had outlined

Saturday 20 June: by 11am, I have the title of said perfect car in my hands.

Monday 22 June: I have managed to get myself insured and registered and put my license plate on my car so I can move it out of the church garage where I have had it some-what illegally parked since Saturday. My first attempt at driving my car (Marcus had done all the test driving), was to take Marcus back to his apartment. I manage to make him swear only one time. Then, after only 40 minutes of looking, I manage to get it parked on the street.

Tuesday 23 June: I drive a friend to the airport at 3 am. After 70 minutes of looking for parking and only 90 minutes of sleep, I pay to park in a garage

Wednesday 24 June: I have to work, but my car takes my roommate to the beach without me

Saturday 27 of June: Road trip to Philadelphia!! Upon arriving home around midnight, I find a lovely parking spot in just about 10 minutes and joyfully skip home.

Monday 29 June: A Day That Will Live in Infamy
10:30am--I go to check on my car before work and it's not there. I feel strangely calm and very clearly feel prompted that everything is going to be okay. I don't know (and still don't know) exactly what they means/meant, but I feel with my whole soul that it is true.
11:30--after checking 3 different places to make sure my car wasn't towed, a policeman tells me I need to call 911 and report it stolen.
12:00pm-- I get to fulfill a life goal of riding in the back of a squad car when the police take me to look for broken glass at the scene of the crime and then back to the station to fill out the paperwork
1:00 Exactly one week and three hours after leaving my State Farm Insurance office with my temporary card, telling the agent "Hopefully everything is fine with my car and I'll never see you again," I am back informing them of the robbery. I receive the happy surprise of my life upon being told that I do, in fact, have full coverage. I don't know how that happened, but I am so so so thankful.
2:30 pm I'm back at work telling the tale.

So, that's the story. I owned my first car for eight days. Now it's gone. Gone like a freight train. Gone like yesterday. Gone like a soldier in the Civil War.

I'm sad because it was such a good car. I'm sad because I had to cancel my trips to Boston and Ghettysburg. I'm sad because now I can't go on the road trip with my mom to South Dakota to visit her cousins.

But mostly I just feel at peace. For some reason I feel very protected and watched over by Heavenly Father. Usually I'm so tight with my money and I get so frustrated about wasting any. And normally I second guess myself about decisions. But in this circumstance, for some reason I just don't feel upset about either of those things. I don't know why things worked out this way after I feel like received the confirmation that buying a car here would be a good option, but I don't feel like I need to know. I just know that God is over all things and that He is watching over me. I know that everything is, and will be, fine. I'm thankful to know that God loves me and is taking care of me. I'm glad that my family is okay and I'm okay. As far as stinky life things that happen, this is a fairly minor one and I'm thankful for that.

Also, I want to sincerely thank those of you who already know about recent loss and who have been so kind and supportive to me. I really appreciate you. Your kind words and tokens have meant a lot to me.

This is how I found out

2009-06-25T16:51:00.003-06:00

Perhaps some day our children will ask us where we were when we found out Michael Jackson had died. Please notice the side bar advertisement. What are the chances?

This is my favorite quote of the day regarding the above mentioned situation:
Chinese attorney: Who cares about Michael Jackson.
Me (with disgust): Who cares about Chairman Mao.
French attorney: Who's Chairman Mao?

Now that the crisis is over....

2009-06-12T15:05:00.006-06:00

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT FOR THE FAINT-HEARTED

About three weeks ago I arrived home one evening after a full day of merry-making. You can imagine my surprise to find a mouse (for no apparent reason) had decided to climb up sink between my bottles of soap to die

(seriously not for the squeamish. don't scroll down if you don't want to see it)

Of course I was upset, but not nearly as much as I would have been at earlier stages of my life. Over the years, we've gone through a few cycles of mouse infestations which I have mostly ignored. Lately we have been having random 2-3 inch cockroaches showing up unannounced and dead in our apartment. (I am NOT kidding. LITERALLY 2-3 inches. Just to get an idea--I want you to right now put your fingers 2-3 inches apart to imagine it. Yes, 4 cockroaches that size have appeared in our apartment--3 of them dead.) I had gotten used to clearing them out because my roommates are not as city-hardened as I am. In fact, I felt especially capable of dealing with the mouse problem because only a few days earlier I had rescued my otherwise incredibly masculine date from a 2-3 inch cockroach when he crawled on to the sofa with us.

Even though I felt up to the task, it did take me about 10 minutes of looking at the mouse before getting up the courage to try to put the large piece of cardboard under him. When I attempted you can imagine my shock to discover that he (yes, I'm sure it was a boy. i don't know how) was NOT DEAD. I had been watching him NOT move for 10 minutes, but when I touched him with the cardboard his little legs started moving and upon further investigation, I could tell he was definitely breathing.

This changed the situation drastically. I didn't know what to do. I called my big brother, who didn't answer. I called my little brother; no answer. I called my brother-in-law. IS NO ONE EVER HOME WHEN THERE'S A CRISIS?!!

I'm afraid this story is dragging, so I"m going to speed it along now by saying:

I was not able to keep the presence of the mouse from my very very mouse-wary roommate

My little brother called back right exactly when the mouse decided to get up and start walking around, which caused him (my brother) no end of amusement. Apparently I did a lot of shrieking.

I was not able to rally up my nerves quickly enough to prevent the mouse from very slowly walking away and escaping behind the oven.

The next day the mouse decided to reappear back on the counter half-dead again while I was at work, causing mass amount of emotional distress to my poor roommate and necessitating an emergency call to the super to come save her.

This started a deluge of mouse-spottings and trappings that almost forced my roommate to move not only out of the apartment, but out of the city, the state, and this half of the continental divide.

Prayers are answered: after a day of fasting and prayer for the mouse problem to dissipate enough for that my beloved roomie would stay, there was a sudden drop-off in mouse sitings--we've not seen one in 12 days. They disappeared the way day after my fast. True story.

Now, just for kicks, here's a picture I found on the internet of a 3 inch cockroach. Just so you know what we're dealing with here.

Happy Anniversary to Me!!

2009-06-09T16:00:00.001-06:00

Last month marked my three year anniversary in New York City. I giggle to myself at what a stupid, inexperienced, silly little girl I was when I arrived. To celebrate the growth I've made, here are some random ways I've grown, things I didn't know, ways I've changed, etc since arriving in New York City.

1. I didn't know the difference between natural and synthetic fibers
2. I couldn't tell the difference between high and low quality anything (shoes, suits, etc)
3. I'd never had goat cheese.
4. I didn't know people could tell the difference between butter and margarine (turns out most people can tell just by sight).
5. I'd never been to Europe
6. I'd never set foot in a JCrew and never purchased anything at Banana Republic (I have charge cards for both now)
7. I'd never been to, or even heard of, Ikea.
8. I could be wrong, but I don't believe I'd ever been cat-called before. Certainly I never had been on a regular basis.
9. I couldn't recognize basil by sight, smell, or taste. Now I just can't keep them alive.
10. I'd never been to a concert
11. I'd never paid a utilities bill
12. I'd never eaten or heard of gnocchi, pierogi, pad thai, or masala
13. The sight of a mouse would send me screaming and running into another room to stand on a chair

This is very much an incomplete list, but I don't want to get too wordy, so I'll just go ahead and publish it now. If I think of a really good one, I'll add it later.

New Post

2009-06-06T17:19:00.002-06:00

It's time for a new post because as interesting as Dick Cheney talking about torture is, let's face it, it's a bit of a downer.

Although I have two things that I've been meaning to blog about, I am suffering from a general lack of the desire to do anything (to the extent that for the first time ever I will not be hosting a Tony's party this year), so instead of organizing my thoughts enough to put an actual post, I'm putting on this music video about New York City that I love so so so so so much. I just laugh and laugh and laugh. If it's not the best comic dancing music video you've ever seen I will give you a million dollars.
(that's just an expression. but seriously if you feel like laughing, click below and invest in four minutes of pure bliss.)

Straight Talk about "Tough Interrogation"

2009-05-27T13:15:00.004-06:00

I know this is a bit heavy for a lite and kicky blog such as mine, but I saw this clip and appreciated it so much that I wanted to share it with any interested parties.

They better be worth it!

2009-05-21T09:06:00.002-06:00

Subtitle: Seriously, I am THAT cheap.

Last night I bought these sandals:
At $59, they are by far the most expensive shoes I've ever purchased (including winter boots. including the shoes I wore to prom).

Historically, I have always just purchased whatever was on sale and made it work. But now that I've decided to only buy things that I love, shopping is much more complicated. Shoes are the hardest--I'm quite picky. In addition to thinking that most shoes in the market today are ugly, I have lots of double standards: I only like wearing sandals in the summer, but I don't like too much of my feet to show. I only like wearing high heels, but I want my shoes to be comfortable. I'm only getting one pair of sandals so I need them to match with everything, but I only like bright colors.

I'm claiming these orange sandals are neutral because they sort of match my skin. In the store, they were so comfortable it was only slightly less pleasurable than strapping little clouds to my feet. While the long-term durability of the "cloud effect" remains to be seen, I'm hoping this will be a long and happy relationship.

The Treasures of Blog Surfing

2009-05-12T13:07:00.003-06:00

The smile on my face must have been as big as the whole outdoors the entire time I was watching this. It was a big favorite in the Bluemlein family, but I never knew there was a video.

I Was Wrong

2009-05-11T08:28:00.004-06:00

Concerning my last post, I was mistaken regarding several key factors:

1. If I'd realized how incredible the party I was going to that night on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange (yes, THE New York Stock Exchange) was going to be, it WOULD have cheered me right up. We got a private after-hours tour from a gentleman who has been working there 30 years. We got our picture taken at the place where they ring the bell. And the party was way swanky. (sorry for the bad picture quality--I don't have a scanner so this is a picture of the picture. if I get a scan, I'll replace it)

2. I got to go on my first bike ride of the year yesterday and everything was beautiful and green. So, even though it was totally lame that it rained for two weeks straight and I didn't get to enjoy the flowers in the sunshine and the excessive amounts of rain made all the trees lose their blossoms early, I guess some good did come out of it.

3. When it rains again (tomorrow) I will be ready. My roommate is de-junking and gave me these totally awesome Wellies. Even in the rain, life seems better when I don't have to wear ugly black boots. (If they look industrial or farm-like it's just because of the picture. Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

Moisture

2009-05-07T12:50:00.003-06:00

Just about every other place I've ever lived has been surrounded by farmland. So whenever it would rain for, say, 14 days straight you could say "Well at least it's helping the farmers."

But when you live in Manhattan and there are no farms for miles and miles it all seems like a waste. A horrible, inconvenient waste.

I feel like I'm back in Alaska. Only the rain doesn't even smell nice here because there's no soil. But at least the road to my house isn't caving in under the mud twice a day like it did in Denali.

Am I being a negative Nelly? I guess two weeks without sun (especially in the middle of spring) does that to me.

Even the cool party I'm going to at the Stock Market tonight is not entirely to cheer me up entirely.

Sweet Victory

2009-04-30T22:39:00.002-06:00

My roommate has a friend staying with us a few days.

She said to me, "You have such a beautiful apartment! The decorations are so happy!"

My first attempt at beautifying a space has been a success.

It feels good.

Blast from the Past

2009-04-19T00:18:00.006-06:00

My saintly sister Heather has taken the project of scanning all the Bluemlein family photos. Bless her! I wanted to share with you some of the highlights:

Me and some cousins playing in the mud

These two are legendary within the family. The first for absolute adorableness, the second for some random reason I couldn't tell you.

Me as a baby

My first Halloween (or possibly just another day with the dress up clothes)

Grandma visiting shortly after my birth

There were others that I wanted to share, but for some reason, my computer is not recognizing their existence. Maybe later.

Thank you Heather for your diligent work! And also, a shout-out to my seester Ann for starting the project.

Going ons

2009-04-13T18:22:00.009-06:00

How is it that even in nature, everything cool happens in the Village first? The daffodils are up everywhere, but I have only seen blooming trees in the West Village. They are gorgeous.

I've been going to the West Village a lot lately (3 of the last 3 weekdays) because my new favorite thing is there: Yogurt-land I love it so much.

Another thing I am loving these days is Ticket to Ride. It turns out it's not just a Carpentar's song, but also a very fun, highly addictive board game. I've played 4 of the last 8 days. Here's a picture of my first ever victory. (I'm yellow which you can't see very clearly, but trust me. I won.)

In other news, Sunday I was at a friend's house for an Easter morning breakfast/singing party and on our way out, I saw this note from her super posted in the hallway.

Today I paid my taxes. Unlike last year, I only owe $7. Yipee! And I'm actually getting a tad back from the state! I sent my $7 check in a pretty card with a bright blue envelope. I hope that gives them some cheer at the IRS office. I bet it's not a fun time to work there. Everyone hates taxes, but really it's just the price we pay for living in a civilized world.

I went to Paris

2009-04-06T21:38:00.012-06:00

I bet you thought I forgot. But no, two months later I will now blog report about my vacation to Paris. (I'll report on London later.)

I went to Paris.

I did all the things you would expect one to do in Paris.

Saw the Eiffel Tower

And Notre Dame (this is the back view, which I think is prettier) (the inside of Notre Dame was my favorite thing in the city)

And the Paris Opera House

And the Arc d'Triomphe

And all sorts of wonderful bridges over the Seine

And I ate lots of cheese and baguettes

I even got to go see Vinceness--the very very old fort/castle/suburb that the little city in Indiana where I grew up was named after

It was also a time of very "classy" eating. While we mostly ate frozen dinners, we did enjoy a spurge eating on the famous Champ-Elysee (at a McDonalds), another day I had a Parisian hot dog. (I KNOW it's a dumb thing they made up for the tourists, but it was yummy! I LOVE hot dogs!!!)

It was a very lovely trip, made all the better by being with a good friend, who doubled as possibly the world's best tour guide. I don't think I could have asked for a better trip.

"We're neither pure nor wise nor good ...

2009-04-03T12:37:00.006-06:00

"...We'll do the best we know. We'll build our house and chop our wood and make our garden grow."

This profound truth from high school lit, re-manifested by Bernstein's take on Voltaire's brilliant truth has been on my mind today.

Now, compare that with the profound truth of Thoreau: "Go confidentially in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imaged."

Seemingly contradictory ideas, but I think that they actually fit together in a very very rich and meaningful way. Combine those two and I think you've pretty much got it figured out.

I've included the song around which these thoughts are based for your listening enjoyment. Bernstein sure knows how to throw down a tune.

Reasons to Rejoice

2009-03-23T20:56:00.004-06:00

1. The cheap produce stand by my house re-opened!!! Today I bought a cantaloupe, five oranges, four lemons, three pears, two pounds of onions, a bag of baby carrots, a bunch of green onions and two pounds of tomatoes for $7.50! Yipee! Winter really is over.

2. I LOVE my new desk! I thought I needed a new apartment--I was wrong. I just needed a desk in my bedroom.

3. The mystery bruise that appeared on my arm last Tuesday is finally starting to fade. Its unexplained appearance and uncanny stamina have not really inconvenienced my life at all, but for the entire week I've had it, it has been dark enough to startle me every time I've seen it.

4. John Stossel. You know- the investigative report. I love him. SO MUCH. If you have any interest at all on getting an insightful understanding of the stimulus/bailout/etc stop what you are doing right now and watch this video:

If you like it, as soon as you have a chunk of free time watch the whole thing here
(And thank you Sharon for sharing the video)

Various Adventures

2009-03-19T11:35:00.009-06:00

Have you noticed that it's been quite a while since I've posted about anything that I've actually been up to? I have. And luckily I've had a happy and exciting week, so I will share.

Monday after work, I took the super awesome free water ferry to Ikea Brooklyn. Yipee!!
I went there to take a further leap into adulthood by purchasing myself a) a garlic press b) a desk for my room. I am quite pleased with my desk purchase: While there, I also had the insight that I would need a desk chair as well. I love the super cute, quite comfy pink one I got (as seen above) but failed to realize that it would not fit under the desk. too bad. but it will work out.

While there, fortunately, I also remembered the SERIOUS need that my new sofa that I love so so much had for throw pillows, so I got some. And they're pretty awesome:.
Here's a close-up of just the pillow: (I'm also going to take this moment to point out all the lovely sunlight in my apartment --happy sigh--).

So I carried my desk (which is technically a dining room table that folds in half), chair, throw pillows, garlic press, and tupperware set to the ferry, across the bottom half of Manhattan to the subway and then the 2 blocks from the subway to my apartment and up the three flights of stairs to my home. I assembled the chair and desk, felt sufficiently pleased with myself and went to sleep.

At 2:30 am I got a call from a friend who needed to go to the emergency room. (it's too bad that I'm not still reading Twilight or I would have still been awake.) I will not share any info about my friend and her medical maladies because it's not my place to share her story on my blog. Sufficient to say-- the EMTs were useless (I ended up carrying all their stuff AND helping my friend down the stairs and into the ambulance). Also, having now having experienced another emergency room, my opinion that Allen Pavilion is the best er in the city holds even more true. We did manage to get some giggling about boys done, despite the inopportune local; and despite her severe pain, my oral reading of the introduction to "Don Quixote" did put her to sleep. I left at 7:30 when the crisis was passed and she was waiting for the specialist to come in. (She's fine now, just fyi).

I headed home with the plan to sleep 90 minutes before going to work.

But then, for the FIRST TIME IN MY ADULT LIFE, I decided to call in and tell them I wasn't coming. It was a bit unnerving, but empowering. I figured I had so much to do at home (especially with my new desk set up and all) that I'd have a chance to get a lot done.

So after sleeping in until 2, I made what I considered to be a very reasonable to-do list:
exercise
study scriptures
taxes
thank you note x3
write 2 hours
use eggplant

Of the above, the only thing I got done was exercising. But I did go to the drug store for my friend's prescription and that always take longer than you'd expect. And I did make an impromptu St. Patrick's Day dinner for my roommate and I. It was my first year EVER not having a big party, but I am having a rather antisocial, low-energy stage right now and didn't want to be bothered. But I guess Amelia and I had a party for two. And i did listen to my St. Patrick's Day CD while cooking. So my celebrating needs have been satiated. And if there is anything yummier than cabbage and potatoes stewed in vinegar, I don't know what that thing is. Yum!

Is this post dragging? Okay, I'll abbreviate-- I was supposed to go to a crepe party that evening, but I was too tired. I called my mom at 9:30 saying something like this: "boo hoo. i'm so tired and i haven't accomplished anything today even though I took the day off from work. I want to go eat crepes with my friends but i'm too tired. boo hoo." She sent me to bed immediately, which I obeyed, falling asleep with makeup on and contacts in listening to "Lord, Make Me An Instrument of Thy Peace" in lieu of scripture study. I slept peacefully and happily with a cool breeze from the fan blowing over me, anticipating all the exciting things I'll do with my new desk. --happy sigh---

Freedom II

2009-03-18T16:09:00.003-06:00

On a whim today, I decided to.........

pay off my student loan!!!!

Yay!!!

There wasn't too much left, but I decided instead of paying twice a month until July, I would just take it out of savings and pay it all now.

So now I'm debt-free!!!

Yay!!

Freedom!!!!

2009-03-16T07:21:00.004-06:00

As I reflect on the last two weeks of my life, I'm reminded of a line from Wordworth's Ode Intimations of Immortality: "Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting." Only instead of "birth" it would be "starting the Twilight series." I feel like I've been submerged under a still pool of water, only vaguely aware of what was going on above the surface. But late Saturday night I emerged back into reality: "Hum, my bedroom is pretty messy--oh look, there's all the clean laundry from last week, I should put that away. Hum, I think I've eaten nothing but Doritos today. Hum, I'm speaking in Sacrament meeting tomorrow." I mean I've continued on with my life--going to work every day, attending parties, hosting FHE, etc but it was like a passing dream. Twilight pretty much took over my life.

So, how do I feel about the experience now that it is behind me?

At first, I was upset. I would tell people I was reading Twilight and many of them said that they never would, I would say "good idea. don't." But then, something strange happened during the second book--I realized it wasn't as bad as the first one. Then, eventually I decided it was pretty good. And finally I decided that I didn't hate/love it, I just loved it. I mean it's not like it's the best written thing ever, but it is FUN it is ENJOYABLE and it is addictive. Yes, the characters do stupid, unbelievable things. Yes, it requires a lot of suspended disbelief. But it is a compelling read. Interestingly enough, once I gave myself permission to just enjoy the books, the compulsive need to read read read was weakened significantly. Not to say that it stopped being my main focus in life. In fact, I would often say to anyone asking me any sort of question about my life: "I can't think about that until I'm done with Twilight."

So, now I'm done and can get on with my life. It was a little lonesome last night brushing my teeth without reading anything, but I trust that I will eventually shift back to normal.

My advise to others who are vaguely considering reading the Twilight series: Just do it. You'll have fun.

three of the four Twilight books, compared with the last book I read "East of Eden" (which despite being one of the best pieces of literature I've come across and, quite short in comparison, still took me almost a month to read)

This is why we should keep our promises

2009-03-06T12:16:00.002-07:00

I've realized that I have shaken my fists towards the heavens in rage and frustration more in the last three days than I probably have in the rest of my life put together.

The reason is simple. I have been reading the Twilight series. My frustration is partial from the book itself and mostly my disgust at myself for reading them.

The first time I so much as heard of the books, my friend was reading them and made me promise that I never would. "I know you," she said, "you will read them all and you will hate them, but you will not be able to stop. Just like me. Spare yourself." I agreed happily enough because I am usually very picky with what I read.

Then due to a series of technical glitches on a trans-Atlantic flight, I accidentally watched the movie. I am sad, although not at all surprised, to report that I really liked it. Well, hated it. But LOVED it. I'm a complicated person. But it became clear to me: I HAD to read the books.

I said to myself, "Why am I being such a literary snob? Is that the type of person I want to be? Many, many people read and enjoy these books. Do I think I'm better than them?" A sensible enough thought, except I forgot to take into account two things about myself: 1) my strong dislike of badly written dialogue etc 2) my addictive personality which makes me easily obsessive over things.

Now I've read 1 and half of the books in three days. I have the third one in my purse ready to go as soon as it's needed. My laundry will have to wait. I'm busy torturing myself with these books that I hate to love. At least I can read until 3am and still get 6 hours of sleep before going to work.

Why, WHY do I do this to myself? I figure it's like a band-aid--I just need to rip it off quick and be done with it. Maybe I'll be able to finish the series in a week and get on with my life.

People used to think Heather and I were twins

2009-02-27T07:18:00.001-07:00

This picture of three of the four Bluemlein girls was on my screen saver slide show this morning

In the brief time it was up, I was unable to identify whether or not I am one of the Bluemlein girls in said photo. I searched my highly illogically "organized" pictures files for some while before finding it. Upon further study, I have concluded that I'm the one of the left. The glasses are definitely mine at least.

Another preliminary Europe post

2009-02-25T04:03:00.002-07:00

For those interested parties, my photos of Europe are now posted on Facebook. The "best of" hits will be appearing on my blog before too long.

The Unofficial Europe Post

2009-02-20T11:13:00.002-07:00

Internet time is scarce, but I flatter myself that some of you might be wondering what I'm up to. I will give a brief report.

I arrived in London safely. And then "Bienvenue a Paris" (pronounced Par-ee). Four beautiful, whirlwind days in Paris (motto: "I'm getting too old for this") and back to London (motto "I thought 10 days would be enough, but I think I was wrong).

I'm getting home next Wednesday and will give a more complete report, although I'm already forgetting a lot of the details. Hopefully I'll have pictures at that point, but I can't promise since I haven't been able to use my camera and am dependent on the file-sharing of others.

Having a lovely time.

In the subway? Seriously?

2009-02-04T10:03:00.004-07:00

I hopped on the subway this morning in an unusual state of mental unclarity, perhaps even bordering on anxiety. My mind was caught up in stressful and vaguely unpleasant thoughts. As my mind was jumbling along with a general lack of sunshine, I was utterly surprised to look up on the subway wall and find that monks have started recruiting via subway advertisements:

I was fascinated--FASCINATED I tell you-- with this sign. I must have spent half of my commute staring at it and pondering it. I mean there are so many different things to think about! At the end, I was intrigued by how happy, fulfilled, intellectually stimulated and diverse they all looked. Although my monk loyalties have always been firmly with the Jesuits (this is based entirely on the book "Silence"), I felt a certain kinship with the men in the ad. I found myself thinking that surely being a Franciscan would be a definite step to life-long bliss. I would have seriously considered it for myself except for the fact that I'm not 1) Catholic, 2) male, and 3) willing to be celibate the rest of my life.

But as I stood there pondering the state of the Catholic church, the continued existence of Franciscan monks, and mostly a life officially and very publicly dedicated to Christ and forgetting self to serve others, somehow the cloud from my mind lifted, my morning prayer for clarity in my mind was answered AND the answer I had been looking for came almost without me realizing it. And my typical feelings of peace and calm returned to me. The Lord works in wonderful and mysterious ways.

And, I really really love that subway ad. On so many levels.

Putting the "Party" in Politics

2009-01-27T11:23:00.005-07:00

Obama has been president for one week now and, as Neil likes to remind me, I still have a job, money in the bank, and the government has not yet taken possession of my apartment. So that is nice.

In following with my resolution to be optimistic about Obama's presidency, I decided that the office needed to have a party to celebrate (or, if you prefer "observe") the inauguration. I got it authorized and put myself in charge of the event. Needless to say, the party was a rip-roaring success, despite technical difficulties. Because of the traffic jam on the information super highway caused by so many people trying to stream the event on-line we ended up having it as a multi-media extravaganza consisting of slow, choppy, delayed visuals on the big screen and sound on the radio. Listening to an important event on the radio made me feel connected with my ancestors, so that was nice.

All the co-workers were very generous with the treats they brought. They didn't even all fit on the table!

I will give the highlights of the party via conversations that took place.

On planning the party:
Me (to another secretary): The partners didn't give me a budget, so I don't how much money I can spend on the pizza
Left-leaning attorney: Oh, those things don't matter now that the Democrats are in charge!

On learning that we were having technical difficulties:
Attorney: What?! I'm not missing this for anything! I'm going home to watch it with my girl! (I'm not sure if he meant his wife or his daughter, but either way I think it was cute.)

As the people who really cared were leaving en masse to find a better venue:
Right-leaning attorney: So..... the Democrats are leaving, and the Republicans are going to stay here and eat all the food?

On Obama's speech:
Catholic attorney: I can't believe he's quoting from the Bible!
Me: But that scripture is in the Old Testament, not the New Testament. Everyone likes the Old Testament!
Jewish attorney: Yeah, a sequel is never as good as the original.

On the yummy food:
Secretary: I'd love the recipe for this quiche.
French attorney who brought the quiche: Well, I'd have to translate it.

On seeing pictures of the First Family in the newspapers in the next day:
Me (to myself): Sasha is totally my new fashion icon! (I already have the pink coat. I just need the orange scarf and gloves! Love it!)

And just in case you haven't seen this totally hilarious clip from The Onion yet, you should watch it. I sent it out with the email invitation to the party.

Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are

In Defense of Mondays (or: Life is Good)

2009-01-26T14:34:00.005-07:00

I am of the belief that one day is pretty much as good as any another. I mean, REALLY, is there that much of a difference between Monday or Thursday or Friday, or for that matter is Saturday really so soul-shakingly different? (Sundays are, of course, as ordained by The Lord, uniquely fabulous but we will not be discussing that here.)

This is why I bring this up: this morning, I said to someone at work "Good Morning! Happy Monday!" The idea of a "happy Monday" caused quite a stir. And I'll be frank, no one much liked the idea. Someone asked me what on earth I could be thinking and I said the first thing that popped into my head: "Monday marks the beginning of a new week to fill with things you love." I'd never thought of it that way, but I like it a lot.

Now I'm wondering why people dislike Mondays so much. I guess fundamentally it's because that means its five more days until the weekend. Does that mean that the work week (70% of your life) is merely something to be endured? Are the weekends the only days in life worth rejoicing in? Doesn't this reek of the "one day less to be living" mentality? It seems to me that disliking Mondays is synonymous with disliking life. And yet, there are so many Monday-haters and so few life-haters (I hope!), that I must be making false connections. I think most people probably just hate Mondays out of habit. But since Mondays do constitute nearly 15% of your mortal existence, it seems like it would be a good habit to break.

I have been thinking about this all day. I feel very much more dedicated to the idea of living and enjoying each day.

And I found this nice image on google:
Obviously there are some other Monday lovers (AKA lovers of life) out there.

Once You Start, You'll Be Hooked

2009-01-22T14:34:00.003-07:00

My friend has a super exciting project going on right now, which you can follow at

http://31datesin31days.com/

Seriously though, you won't be able to stop checking every day. But I'd say go ahead and take the plunge.

PS and tell your friends because there WILL BE audience polling at the conclusion

Completely Random Updates on Things in My Refrigerator

2009-01-19T23:08:00.006-07:00

Travel back with me in your minds' eye to August 1, 2007. I am leaving for the Czech Republic in the early afternoon and have taken the entire day off work. I have cleverly planned my grocery buying so that am out of eatables. Wanting to avoid the high prices of food items at the airport, I go to a restaurant across the street for lunch. With my meal they give me a free can of root beer, which I do not drink because I know all that sugar will make me antsy on the plane. I cannot be entirely sure, but I believe that this picture (taken by me approximately 5 minutes ago) is of the very root beer can from one and a half years ago:
(I found it when I cleared my stuff off my roommate's fridge shelf in anticipation of her return from Christmas break)

In other refrigerator-related news. I am happy to announce that I have used up, in its entirety, my first full pound of flax seeds. As proof, I have photographed and will now publish my second pound of flax seeds which I bought just last week:
In addition to being high in omega fatty acids, flax seeds are super awesome because (when ground and mixed with water) they can be substituted for eggs in most baking recipes. They give things a yummy nutty flavor and are great in cookies, muffins, quick breads, etc. I use them in almost all my baking and I haven't had to buy eggs since May! As an added bonus, a pound of organic flax seeds only costs around $2. I look forward to using many more flax seeds in the future.

The Rankest 2,000 Pound Bulls in the World

2009-01-10T21:02:00.009-07:00

One thing I love about living in New York City is the fact that my regular day-to-day routine frequently takes me to places that are famous, household names. For example today I took the A train (made famous by the Ella Fitzgerald song) to Penn Station and walked past the great views of the Empire State Building to Madison Square Gardens where I had tickets to an event.

And if there's one thing better than Madison Square Gardens, it's Madison Square Gardens with the arena covered in 700 tons of dirt because it is the MOST magical time of the year--the weekend when the Professional Bull Riders Invitational is in town. That's right--despite Ford's financial difficulties they are still bringing to us this blessed, blessed event.

Having accidentally missed the show of the year in 2008, I was determined not to let it happen again. So my roommate and I donned our best cowgirl apparel and headed down (you can't tell from the picture, but yes, we most certainly are wearing boots and the biggest belt buckles in our collective closets).

The evening started with a pyrotechic display which (though you cannot tell from this picture) was truly worthy of "the most famous arena in the world" (yes, that is "NYC" written in flames)

Like any good gathering of cowboys, this event started with a prayer, including a blessing on the troops. The Star Spangled Banner was sung and we felt like bona fide Americans.

I love bull riding. I just really love it. It is the absolutely best. It brings me so so so so so much joy. The action, the drama, the suspense, the danger, the pure untapped masculine energy. I can't really think of what else to say about it. Except that there was a cowboy there named "Pistol."

Here is a brief YouTube clip of a Professional Bull Riding Event just to give you a little taste of how soul-shakingly wonderful the whole sport is

PS They even played "Thank God I"m a County Boy" right there in the urban center that is Madison Square Garden.

Post-Vacation Wrap-Up

2009-01-06T21:05:00.012-07:00

My roommates should be getting back any time now. I can't exactly remember when they will be arriving, but in the spirit of the end of my "vacation" I've decided to do a list enumerating my accomplishments. I was thinking about this on the way home today and it seems I've accomplished quite a bit:

1. painted living room
2. painted kitchen
3. painted picket fence on kitchen wall
4. got a new sofa (this REALLY deserves its own post. hopefully I'll do that eventually).
5. learned that it's okay to have needs
6. practiced expressing my needs and desires in appropriate ways
7. celebrated my birthday
8. hosted a Christmas party
9. practiced piano almost every day (after setting it as a goal)
10. accidentally made about 4 gallons (literally) of koshari and ate all of it (except the half gallon I froze for later)
11. narrowly avoided being kissed against my will (that hasn't happened since high school)
12. went and saw a movie in the theater by myself for the first time ever
13. came to the sad, sad realization that despite my ardent devotion to him, Hugh Jackman has never been in a good movie (with the notable exception of XMen I & II). the London production "Oklahoma" (which was AWESOME) doesn't count since it wasn't technically a movie.
14. rearranged my bedroom (the chi keeps getting better and better!)
15. sorted out ANOTHER three trash bags of stuff to take to Goodwill (seriously, where does all this stuff come from?)
16. after months of trying not to be suspicious, the facts refused to be ignored any longer and I realized that someone I respect and like a lot (no one any of my blog readers know) is most likely having an affair. am very sad about it.
17. bought a hat to keep my ears warm. I think I might not have to wear a coat EVER this winter, although I realize this is not true.
18. dragged a 10-foot Christmas tree down four flights of stairs by myself. Swept four flights of stair immediately thereafter.
19. accidentally stole a yucca from the grocery store (I am going to take it back)
20. got a pair of ice skates. still need to use them
21. finally cleaned the cookie jar that had that incredibly moldy muffin in it. I think it had been there at least two months.
22. made two separate trips to Trader Joe's on two separate days and STILL didn't manage to buy their house brand of pasta. I didn't think they'd be out at 4:30. I was wrong. (Why, oh WHY, can we not get a second Trader Joe's in Manhattan?!! preferably on the west side. I'm tired of shlepping all the way to the lower east side every time i run out of peanut butter. and the cashiers always ask questions when I buy more than 10 jars at a time.)
23. Have you heard the expression "there are two seasons in housekeeping-- Easter grass and pine needles"? I have learned for myself that ridding the house of pine needles really does take an entire season.
24. bought my plane ticket to London! Yay! Feb 12-25!
25. once again rejoiced in my decision to leave the non-profit sector when my end-of-year bonus unexpectedly arrived in my checking account. I LOVE working in the for-profit industry!
26. stayed up until 5 am watching episodes of Jem on YouTube
27. successfully proposed the idea of an inauguration day party at work. Got myself put in charge of said party. (i'm not an obama fan, but i'm trying to be a good sport)
28. gave myself a rather nasty cut with a butter knife (yes, a butter knife)

Well! That turned out to be quit a list! I could probably think some more and come up with other accomplishments, but I'll end now.

And, because every good blog post should have one--a picture: For New Year's Eve I went to a great party in a neighborhood much more trendy than I usually haunt. this is us in the elevator on our way to the roof to see the fireworks. It was very windy and cold. But totally awesome fun.

My Christmas was very very lovely, thanks for asking

2009-01-02T18:57:00.005-07:00

Once I got over the guilt of not going to visit my parents for Christmas (because really, as much as I HATE traveling during the holidays, I do love them more), I was able to have a really really delightful Christmas here in the city with friends.

I opened my apartment up for general merry-making around 3pm on Christmas eve. For me, merry-making is definitely going to involve baking, so I made an apple pie and rice pudding while my friends trinkled in. Around 6:00, I remembered that I wanted to get a Christmas tree, so I recruited two of the big, strong men from the festivities and took them with me to the tree stand three blocks away.

This was my plan: go up to them and with the full realization that they were desperate to get rid of their trees, see what sort of a tree they would give me for $5.

This is what happened: we go and the stand has been removed. BUT there are several trees left desolate on the curb. I don't want to steal said tree, so I offer to pay by yelling loudly "I want to buy a tree!! Anyone want my money?!! I have money I want to give you for a tree!!" The thing I love about Washington Heights is that no one thought this was odd behavior or stopped to look at me as they walked by. Figuring that I had done my best effort to be honest, we decided that it would be fine to take one. There were about 5 trees left and all of them were at least 10 feet tall. Luckily, I had just painted my apartment,and therefore knew that those measurements would fit within the perimeter of my ceilings. Unluckily, that meant we had to carry the huge tree (which had been sitting in the rain for about two days) the three blocks to my apartment and then up four flights of stairs. One of the big strong men I had brought along to help had a broken leg, so it was up to the other fellow and me (in my Tommy Hillfiger jacket) to carry the soaking mess home. Even I was shocked by my lack of muscle strength--I was pretty much pooped after 1.5 blocks. Luckily, the gimp had the excellent idea of calling back up to my apartment for backup and so two fresh strong men showed up to carry it the rest of the way.

We got home and left the tree in the hall to drip while we went to my favorite Dominican restaurant Malecon for Christmas Eve dinner. (do you like my Christmas-y outfit? I wore it to work too.)

And there was a Christmas miracle--even though they were out of their super-yummy rotisserie chicken, our waiter found us one!!! And the seven of us ate very well--chicken, pork, rice, bean, yucca and plantains for only $7 each. I love Malecon.

Then we went home to eat dessert and decorate our tree before heading out to midnight mass. Only I didn't have a tree stand or any decorations. We propped our huge tree up in the corner and The Other Holly spear-headed the effort to make ornaments--people cut out snowflakes and cut up cards with pretty pictures. It was so great! I was simply overwhelmed with the Christmas spiriting watching everyone make our own decorations for the tree (I was busy in the kitchen and did not participate, but was still able to bask in the glow). We even had a lovely star made out of an old cereal box and some aluminum foil. Good, old-fashion ingenuity. Here is a picture of me and the tree. I'm guessing this was Christmas morning: Man, I LOVED that tree. I was very sad when I had to throw it out to make room for my new sofa, but that's another story. (in this photo, you can also see a sneak preview of my new living room color)

Then we went to midnight mass at St. John the Divine, which I believe is the largest cathedral in NYC. The ceremony was very lovely and very long. Half hour longer than a session of general conference, to be exactly. But the interior of the building was very beautiful (this picture doesn't do it justice) and of course, it's always really heart-warming to spending Christmas eve with so many fellow believers. Towards the end, they turned off the lights and everyone lit a candle we'd been given at the beginning and we sang Silent Night. It was just wonderful.

Then we went back to my house and stayed up chatting until about 5 am. I laughed that my weekly alarm to call and wake up a fellow temple worker at 4:30 Thursday morning went off as I was getting ready to go to bed.

I woke up in the morning and made breakfast for everyone. I don't know what I did to make those hash browns so yummy, but I suspect cocaine must have been involved.

My original plan had been to kick everyone out by 11am on Christmas and spend the day in solitude and reflection, but my guests were all so charming and amusing that they talked me into spending the day with them.

I felt like eating a hot dog, so we all went to Gray's Papaya. I have not eaten any meat since about April. Those of you who are familiar with my history probably know that I LOVE hot dogs and one of the reasons I moved to Manhattan was to be near Gray's Papaya. Since turning vegetarian and then vegan, I've always said that if I really feel like eating meat, eggs, cheese, etc I would, so I decided I should go ahead and do it: It was every bit as tasty as I remember.

We went to see Seven Pounds (boring, but as I reflect more they were obviously doing a subliminal pro-vegan campaign, which is intriguing).

I got home around 7pm that night. I was sitting on the floor checking my email when I heard the Christmas tree russeling in the corner. I looked over at it and it FELL ON TOP OF ME. I was stunned and was unable to extricate myself for several minutes, largely because I was laughing so hard. Eventually I regained my composure and was able to wriggle out from under the rather large, heavy tree and then pull it back up against the wall. My robe got pine sap on it and some pine needles got into my keyboard, but other than that--none the worse for the wear.

I went to bed early with breathless anticipation of shopping until I dropped the next day, but that is a story for another day.

All in all, I think it was one of my best Christmases ever. I think the time spent hand-making the ornaments for our tree will be a Christmas moment that I remember with joy the rest of my life. I'm so thankful to have such great people to spend the holiday with, even when I'm not close to my family.

29 is a magic number

2008-12-24T10:56:00.006-07:00

Subtitle: better report on my birthday before Christmas

About three weeks ago, I said to myself "My birthday is coming up. What shall I do to celebrate?" Then I decided I would do ANYTHING that I wanted to do. If I wanted to to to Spain, I would go to Spain. If I wanted to eat steak all day, I would. After removing all restrictions and thinking about it very hard, I decided I wanted to spend the day painting my apartment. This, I figured, would not only get something I've been excited about done, but also goes with my "new apartment, new life" theory, I figured I would start 29 out strong.

For some reason, I decided I needed a birthday self-potrait. That was silly enough, and I have no idea why the ham sandwich I"m posting it here, but I can't stop myself.
Don't judge the photo too harshly--it was 4:30 AM and I'd only had three hours of sleep because while I was laying in bed at 11:30 I'd decided I wanted to make peanut butter chocolate chip muffins for my temple shift. I'm not sure how a lack of sleep can change the shape of one's face, but I'm hoping very much that I don't usually look like that.

I worked my shift at the temple and went to work. We celebrated all the December birthdays on my birthday. Yum!

I left early and went home to paint. That day I got the taping out the edges, priming, and half of the living room done.

Richard and Becca came over for dinner and to keep me company while painting. Richard brought very tasty Indian food and Becca brought a very yummy homemade vegan birthday cake. Becca, Richard, and I met our freshmen year at college. So the celebration that evening was a combined birthday and ten year anniversary party. It was really nice.

My two very favorite presents:

My dear friend from high school Jamie sent me a Republican themed birthday package, the highlight of which is the above-pictured Ronald Reagan pen. I love it!

My parents sent me money with which I bought two glass pie pans (are you as shocked as I was to discover that I didn't already have some?) and this totally awesome welcome mat which rocks my world It makes me so happy! For example, yesterday when I was leaving to do my laundry I thought "Yay! When I get back, I'll get to see my door mat!" That, my friend, is joy.

So, all in all, it was a great day. As I spend several hours alone painting and thinking, I had an unbelievable amount of insights and discoveries about myself that were really soul-shaking. I know this is going to be the best year yet!

New Neice!

2008-12-23T14:45:00.004-07:00

The adoption was finalized this morning so I'm an aunt again! Introducing to the world: Ashley Ann Herron

Here is an up-closer picture so you can truly appreciate her cuteness.

Ann and Josh never expected to adopt a non-infant, but this gift from God practically fell in their lap. The adjustment for all is going well and I know things are going to be great. The hearts of our family are very very thankful to Heavenly Father's loving kindness to us and to this precious little girl.

My first vlog

2008-12-22T20:52:00.003-07:00

A vlog is a video blog. I was in one back in October 2006. For some reason, I just remembered it today and, since I just recently learned how to post videos on my blog, I've decided I"m going to post it. It is only mildly amusing, and it is super duper long, so I"m warning you, there's a good chance that you're not going to want to watch the whole thing. Or even part of it. I just want to post it and so I will because it's my blog and I can do that. Please keep in mind that this was more than two years ago.

My ex-roommate Megan (who has been married more than a year and now lives in Vegas) put it together. She is pretty much a computer movie editing superstar.

Christmas Vacation

2008-12-17T21:53:00.005-07:00

Although I am scheduled to work on December 24th and 26th, today marked the first day of my own special Christmas Vacation.

Because even for someone as lucky as me to have such thoroughly delightful roommates, there is something completely magical about having the apartment all to myself for three weeks. Yippee!!!

I know things will be right where I left them. I don't have to worry about what time to get in the shower or if someone is going to drink all of my juice. No dirty dishes left in the sink!!! (I know, I know, that puts the "petty" in pet peeves, but it bugs me.) I can walk around in my underwear all day (my roommates are good sports about my compulsive underwear wanderings, but I do feel the need to exercise restraint when they might be around). There will be no mysteriously opened cabinets and closets. The shower thingie will always be down. I will play the piano whenever I want. I can use the blender (very important for vegan cooking) whenever I want. (Also, just FYI, I"m not really vegan anymore. I'm not a flexi-vegan who likes to avoid cheese but does eat it on occasion. I still like to vegan bake though.) I will still clean the apartment every night before going to bed, but it will only be my stuff I clean (to be honest, it was mostly my stuff even when the roomies were around). I will play music whenever I want. I can exercise in the living room morning, evening, night, whenever! Ah the joy and delight!!

Tomorrow I start the big paint project!! Hopefully I'll be able to get it all done in one day, but perhaps I"m being overly optimistic. Then I'm refinishing (this is perhaps not the right verb) a few spots on my bedroom floor and moving the bed to be in a better feng shui position. And I'm probably going to get a Christmas tree.

Ryan Simmons is my hero

2008-12-08T21:48:00.003-07:00

If you only do one thing today, please watch the video below. It stars Ryan, a fellow in my congregation who is a comedic genius. It was put together by Collin Mapp, a fellow in my ward who, as far as I can tell from my limited exposure to his work, is a cinematic genius.

So watch. Enjoy. And share with your friends.
And to anyone within four hours of Manhattan--you do not want to miss Ryan's one-man Christmas show on the 17th.

Another One Bites the Dust

2008-12-08T09:00:00.003-07:00

When Ashley moved into my apartment last June, she brought with her four basil plants. I was a bit skeptical because many plants had met their untimely death in my apartment. (Several, but not all of those stories have been recorded here on my blog.) But then I remembered that she's a farm girl and probably knows things I don't. It was true enough. For example: my previous plants had not gotten enough sunlight. My previous herbs had not gotten enough water. These seem like things I should have learned on Seasame Street, but somehow they had eluded me.

In September when Ashley decided flee the big city and return to her rural roots, she left the basil plants in my care. I figured all would be well--I would just keep up the same routine she had in place. For a while, I was doing pretty good. But now.... Well..... This is the end product: (please note, when I tried to save this photo on my computer so I could post it, I was told "The picture 'dead basil' already exists. Would you like to replace it?" How many different dead basil plants does one girl need save on her hard drive?)

In hindsight, I realize that I had been losing Ashley's basil plant at a steady rate of one per month. But the last remaining one had been doing so well! (Perhaps because Amelia had been in charge of his care for several days while I was out of town. He did look even perkier when I returned home.) He had gotten so big that by the time he died the whole thing could not be captured in my camera phone with enough details to also show that it had shriveled up and died.

The thing that surprises me is how quickly death came. One day it was fine, the next day it looked a little sick and the next day, it was gone. What did I do wrong? How did I fail my poor little basil? I even wrote and sang a song to Basil once I realized he was sick. Perhaps I didn't sing to him often enough. Or perhaps it was already too late. But even I was surprised at the emotion that sprang up as I sang: "You're going to live! Basil, you're going to live!! It's too soon, too soon to say goodbye." And then I would imagine Basil singing back to me: "Yes Holly, forbid me now to die! I'll obey! I will try..." But at the end, Basil, like Jean Valjean from whom I stole the song, died all the same.

So now I'm left trying to decide what to do. I NEED fresh basil for pasta sauces and my super yummy homemade salad dressing. But based on my past experience, if I bought fresh basil at the store and kept it in the fridge, it would last longer. I wonder if a chia pet herb garden would last longer. Maybe I should just plan on buying basil when I need it. That's what I do with cilantro, after all. But oh how I love the feeling of using an herb I grew myself! If my dreams of having a tomato plant cannot come to fruition, at least I should be able to cultivate an herb, right? What is up with my thumb of death? If I can't keep an herb alive how am I going to be able to take care of a husband? Or babies? I'm hoping these things do not require a similar skill set.

The rest of the story

2008-12-07T19:37:00.005-07:00

Some of my regular readers might remember my post several weeks ago reporting on how I saved the world by reporting a suspicious smell coming out of a manhole.
I hadn't really thought anything about it until Saturday night when I ran into my associate Jon S., director of the LDS Institute of Education for the New York City region. I will report on the conversation:

Jon: Did you ever hear what happened when you phoned in that gas leak?
Holly: I don't think anything--a ConEd truck came and was there the rest of the night.
Jon: Well, a few days later they tore up the whole street and replaced lots of pipe.
[at this point I remember that Jon's office is in the church building where I reported the smell so he would be intimately familiar with repercussions caused by my call]
Jon: It must have been a million dollar construction project. Good thing you called. Your civic duty has been done.

So I guess the title I unofficially gave myself several years ago holds true--
Holly Bluemlein: Hero to Millions

I will consider that all my personal taxes for the rest of my life will be going towards that project.
(pic photo shopped by my talented sister Heather)

Something Christmas is not good for

2008-12-03T15:07:00.003-07:00

Just so you know--

now is not the best time to be doing a decorating project because all things that could possibly be considered of use to human kind (book shelves, welcome mats, paper lanterns, shelf liner, even yoga mats) have been cleared out of all the stores (Kmart, Crate and Barrel, Pier 1, Home Depot, The Container Store, etc) to make room for cheesy Christmas decorations.

Holly the Happy Home FIXER

2008-11-29T11:58:00.007-07:00

While I have long considered myself a Happy Homemaker, I am only today beginning to consider myself a fix-it person.

Behold-- the hole in my apartment wall: (please note how big and deep the hole is)

I mixed the compound and the plaster dust MYSELF:

The finished project:

I am SOO proud of myself!!! I'd like to especially thank Gustavo for showing me how to do it when he was here last week fixing various things and for leaving the compound and plaster with me, even though I told him I didn't need it. Also, a shout-out to whoever refinished my apartment before I moved in for leaving his tools.

And the whole thing took less than two minutes INCLUDING photo taking. This is the greatest thing ever!!! I want to learn how to fix everything!!!! And decorate everything!!! Once again I have to ask myself--who is this person I've become? But I love it!!

Now I've got to do my yoga and get ready for my date tonight. (new apartment, new life)

PS This is 30 minutes later. I had published the post and was going on with my life when I was lucky enough to notice another hole in the wall--this one was even more tricky--it was on a corner!! But, trusting in my new-found skills, I fixed it right up!!! (Luckily I also saw Gustavo turn seemingly dried plaster into a useable form again, so i was able to do the same!) yay for me!!! yay for empowerment!!